


Where It All Went

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-02
Updated: 2006-01-29
Packaged: 2019-01-19 12:45:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12410562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Lily and James have broken up. Basically, this involves flashbacks of their “happier”� times together. In the end, they do get together of course. Unsure of rating at the moment, but R, just in case. AU





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

Disclaimer: I am aware of the fact that I’m not J.K. Rowling, and that I don’t own any of her characters. The other characters, places, and events are figments of my imagination running wild (very dangerous). I am reposting this as I haven’t finished the story and it’s been several months since I’ve updated a new chapter.

 

How Often Will I Update: Once a week, Wednesday. Now, this is my _goal_. It does not necessarily mean that it will be for _sure_. I have school after all, and occasionally I suffer from bouts of writers block.

 

Note: This had originally been a songfic including several songs. It’s corny, I’m dropping it. _However_ … I will at the beginning of each chapter post the name and artist of the song, as I am a true believer in the fact that it puts you in the mood for the chapter.

 

Summary: Lily and James have broken up. Basically, this involves flashbacks of their “happier”� times together. In the end, they do get together of course. Duh. I’m a true romantic at heart. I am undecided as to the rating at this moment, but I’ll go with R, just because I always seem to include smut… Uh, the first chapters are very depressing but yeah. Everything gets better. Happy reading!

 

Song: “My Happy Ending”� by Avril Lavigne

 

Chapter One

 

By Natali K. A.

 

Lily Evans dropped to her knees, the tears already coming. Had it really only been a week since it had ended? _Really_? All that pain, and only a week to the day?

 

She stared down at her hands. Then at her left ring finger, now bare. She’d been so close. So close to total and utter happiness. The tears she shed burned her eyes and cheeks, her hands as they fell from her pretty face. A face that had once been all smiles. Him. All because of him.

 

She raised her head to stare off into the distance. Even though her vision was blurred, she could still see the spot where he’d kissed her for the very first time ever. It was so long ago, she thought, shaking her head as she sobbed harder. Here, in the middle of English countryside, she could be alone. And get over it.

 

Or at least she’d try. It wasn’t looking too good for her. And how could it possibly? She had lost her other half. It was like trying to eat frozen yogurt after you’d had real ice cream. It just wasn’t the same.

 

Lily shut her bright, green eyes as tightly as she could. She would die of heartache. She was sure of it. How could she ever go on living? She’d always thought girls who would cry and cry when they broke up with some bloke were so stupid and dramatic. There was absolutely no reason to be so histrionic about it all.

 

She’d been so, so wrong.

 

“I love you, James,”� she whispered, opening her eyes once more. This time hatred filled her every inch, consumed every thought, took over her senses. “But I hate you even more.”� To hell with it all.

 

_“Please, James! Don’t do this to me._ _Talk to me. James, don’t do this_...”�

 

She felt dead. Oh, sure, she was breathing, her heart and brain were working. No, she was very much alive. She would have preferred death. Perhaps instead of praying that the pain would dissipate she should be praying for death.

 

_Was it something I did?_

 

Lily laughed out loud, humorlessly and sarcastically. How many times had _that_ thought run through her mind?

 

_“I don’t want to marry you, Lily_. _”�_

__

She couldn’t believe at first. For that matter, she still didn’t. Certainly he might have had cold feet, but would he really have broken up with her because of that? He still loved her. He had to. There wasn’t any way that he couldn’t love her. A love like that didn’t just disintegrate…

 

She’d fall soon. And never be able to get back up... But Lily was fighting. She was a fighter. Always had been. Even when her mum had died of breast cancer during her first year at Hogwarts. Her own roommates hadn’t known until years later, when Lily had broken down.

__

_How could he have hurt me like this_? 

 

She sobbed again and fell to the floor, wishing she had the courage to take her own life. There was just no fixing it. Never.

 

It struck home. Poor, pathetic, orphaned Lily Evans had been naÃ¯ve enough to believe she’d be happy, that she’d found her home, that she’d be Lily Potter.

__

_I’m a twit_ , she thought. _What an idiot_. _There is no such thing as love. Not anymore._

 

“Please, God,”� she cried, looking up into the heavens. “I need You. You’re all that’s left. Please, my God. _Please_!”� She cried those words into the ground, watering it with her tears. It was cold and she was shivering, but she didn’t care. How long would it take to die of hypothermia? “I hate you, Potter,”� she whispered.

 

Her own words stung her. How long had it been since she’d called him ‘Potter’? She looked at her surroundings.

 

Since that night, three years ago, when he’d taken her from her home.

 

And kissed her. Danced with her.

 

And she had fallen in love with him.

 

And it no longer meant anything. It was over. For good. He’d said so himself... 

 

“ _Lily, I mean it. I don’t want to marry you. Now, or ever_.”�

 

“But I do,”� she said, voice frighteningly calm. Her tears had ceased as well. “I always will, my love, my James. I fell in love with you here, and I’ll never forget you. But I’ll damn sure try, you bloody coward. I will!”�

 

Lily had finished for now. Too exhausted to apparate back to the inn, she stood and walked the half-mile, feeling as if her whole world was crumbling down on her.

 

It probably was, too.

 

*~*

_-Later, at an inn-_

 

“Hello, love.”�

 

Lily raised her head to see a grinning woman seated across from her. “What the hell do you want?”�

 

“Now, love,”� the mysterious woman chuckled. She looked... well, like a gypsy. Sooty eyelashes hung over her eyes as she spoke, and she looked as if she had never aged in her life. She must have been at least fifty. She looked thirty–an _old_ thirty. “What’s the matter, love?”�

 

“Listen,”� Lily sighed, fatigue ripping at her. “I am begging you, madam. I’m so tired of life, of people, of _talk_. I want to die.”�

 

“A man, then?”� the weird gypsy lady said knowledgeably. “You shouldn’t be so shocked,”� she said at the look of astonishment on Lily’s pale face. “You look the devil.”�

 

“Thank you.”� Lily made a rude gesture with her hand and put her head back down on her arm.

 

“It’s three in the morning, love,”� the lady said, unfazed. “What you need is someone to talk to.”�

 

“What I _need_ ,”� Lily snapped, eyes ablaze, “is for you to fuck off.”�

 

The gypsy smiled. It reached all the way up to her charcoal eyes. Lily could feel her mood lifting immediately. Something about her...

 

“I bet that’s the most feeling you’ve had inside of you for a while,”� the lady said softly, touching her arm. “Listen to me, lovey. What you need is a strong drink, and you’ll be aright.”�

 

Lily laughed, her voice dry. “Listen. I’m sorry I was rude. But I’ve just been denied the happiness that’s kept me going for so long. I really have no need or want to drink myself into a drunken stupor.”�

 

“Of course.”� The gypsy woman smiled. Lily could see gold teeth in the back of her toothy grin. “I’m Jocelyn. Jocelyn Morose.”�

 

For the first time in a week, Lily almost smiled.

 

Almost.

 

“You are anything but morose, Jocelyn.”� Lily quickly sobered and sighed heavily. “Lily P–Evans.”�

 

“You’ve been practicing using his name.”� It wasn’t a question. Jocelyn had known it immediately. She watched sympathetically as tears welled up in Lily’s gorgeous eyes and she nodded slowly.

 

“I’m sorry.”� Lily broke down sobbing. “I-I just hadn’t expected him to do it. And-And... it hurts so much!

 

Jocelyn patted her arm. “Come now, my dear. Pay no mind to him for the time being. I want you to tell me how you two met.”�

 

That made Lily smile as she looked back up at the raven-haired beauty. “I hated him,”� she giggled. “Oh, Jocelyn. He was the most obnoxious, self-centered, hottest hunk on earth. I didn’t hate him, per say. I just didn’t like him. Actually, we had been friendly to each other. Not friends, mind you, but friend _ly_.”�

 

Jocelyn smiled, sipping her ale. “What’s his name?”�

 

“James Potter.”�

 

Jocelyn appeared shocked. “Really, now? James Potter. Black hair, adorable blue eyes, adorable glasses, just adorable?”�

 

Lily nodded. “You know him?”�

 

“I am a fortune-teller,”� Jocelyn lied. “I know these things.”�

 

Lily smiled, but accepted her lie nonetheless. “Well, Jocelyn, it had been in Seventh Year. At Hogwarts. I hadn’t made Head Girl, and was thoroughly disappointed, even though it was near October by then. But anyway, my friend, Julie Sanders, she was. Her now-boyfriend, Remus, was Head Boy...”�

                               

\----------

_-Memories from the past…-_

 

“Lils.”�

 

Seventeen-year-old Lily Evans snapped her head up. Her loose hair fell about her shoulders. “Yeah?”�

 

“Potter’s looking at you, mate,”� Lynn whispered. “But don’t look!”�

 

“Don’t be daft, Lynn,”� Lily laughed, turning her head so that she could see James Potter. He was at the other end of the table, surrounded by a bunch of girls from Gryffindor. He was staring right at her. Potter grinned flirtatiously, nodding his head in greeting. She smiled back and turned back to Lynn and Julie.

 

“Oh, he was looking at you, Lils,”� Julie laughed, stuffing her mouth full of potato. “You know how Player Potter is. Look out, you’ll be on your back in two minutes.”�

 

Lily laughed, shaking her head. “You’re off your rocker, Julie. Since when does Potter even want to date–or sleep with–any of the popular crowd?”�

 

Julie’s hazel eyes danced. “Since he saw you in that bathing suit last weekend.”�

 

“He’s not even popular,”� Brian, the guy on her right, sneered. “The proof is that he eats at the other end of the table.”�

 

“Oh, Potter’s popular alright,”� Lily told him, a smile growing slowly on her slightly rosy face. Several of the guys watched to see that infamous smile that had broken so many hearts in seven years’ time. “What he is, Brian, is in a class all his own.”�

 

“Bull shit,”� Brian muttered.

 

“Bullocks, Englewood! You don’t think I’m popular?”� James Potter said from behind Lily. She turned to grin that smile at him. “I’m offended.”� He winked at her.

 

“You flirt!”� she laughed. “Sit, Potter. We’ll restore your reputation.”� He obeyed and sat, grinning handsomely.

 

“I came to pay my respects to the wicked looking girl at the ‘better’ end of the social table,”� he said softly. “What are you doing, Evans? This Saturday, I mean. I heard there’s a concert off in London. If you’re not afraid of breaking about fifty rules, that is.”�

 

Lily stared at him as he looked at her over the top of his posh glasses and gently touched her cheek. “You better keep the touching to a minimum if you ever want to have sex again, Potter. Take my word for it.”� But she smiled anyway. “And I’m not going to decline your invitation because I’m afraid of breaking the rules. Oh, no. I’m going to decline because I’ve got better things to do than climb into your bed, Potter. The little ones might fall for it, but I’m not a baby anymore.”�

 

He only grinned back at her. “I’ll see you around, Evans. Later, Clancy, Sanders, Englewood.”� As he rose, he kissed her forehead and walked off, not looking over his shoulders.

 

Lily smiled after the fool as he strode back to a grinning Sirius Black, who undoubtedly thought she’d agreed. His walk was confident, purposeful. How the hell did he do it? She turned back to her friends, who were giggling.

 

“You’re fucked out of your mind,”� Lily laughed, tears sliding out of her emerald eyes. “For heavens’ sake! What a player!”�

 

Julie only laughed. “Alright, Lils. And they say that only blondes are dumb?”� She ran a hand through her own near-white tresses.

 

“I agree with Barbie for once,”� Lynn added.

 

“No one asked for your opinion, Carolyn,”� Brian teased.

 

“Do _not_ call me that!”� Lynn hissed.

 

Lily shook her head as another day at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry ended...

 

\-----------

_-Present_...-

“He sounds charming, Lily,”� Jocelyn said when Lily paused to gather her breath. “Though it’s a wonder he’s still on this earth, with his head so big as it was.”�

 

“Trust me. You don’t know the half of it,”� Lily laughed. “You know, Jocelyn, I like you.”�

 

“I like you too, Miss Lily. How old are you? You can’t be but fresh out of school, now,”� Jocelyn. Really, Lily looked twenty-five at the least, but it was because her eyes were still red and puffy, and she probably hadn’t slept very well in the last week.

 

“It’s been two years since I left Hogwarts,”� Lily sighed, twirling her cup of water. “I’m twenty-one. James is twenty-two now.”�

 

“That’s awfully young to be engaged.”�

 

Lily nodded, wishing she had the energy to order something strong. “I know. But... we had both agreed. He had asked me when he proposed, ‘Is it too soon?’ Neither of us thought so. We were in love. I still am, but go figure.”�

 

Jocelyn nodded. “I’m forty-eight. I know you were wondering. And yes, I’m part gypsy.”� She laughed heartily. “You were kind enough not to ask.”�

 

Lily shrugged. “I don’t care. Thank you for listening. You can leave, if you like. I won’t bore you anymore.”� She made to put her head back down.

 

“Actually, love,”� Jocelyn said happily, “I’ve always liked love stories. If you wouldn’t mind, I’d love to hear the rest of this one. I’ve got nowhere to be if you don’t.”�

 

Lily shook her head. “This story, I should warn you, doesn’t have a happy ending. I was robbed.”�

 

“Of what, dear?”�

 

Looking straight into Jocelyn’s dark eyes, she whispered, “My happy ending.”�

 

The tears came against her will.

 

“Can I ask you something?”� Jocelyn asked her minutes later, when she finally stopped. Lily nodded. “Do you think there’s only one happy ending for you, love?”�

 

Lily shrugged. “It was the one I want more than anything, Jocelyn. It was the one with my friends, my love, my ch-children.”� She had stuttered on the word. They’d been planning to have four. Two boys, and two girls. Valerie, Marge, Eric, and Christopher.”�

 

“There will be another,”� the gypsy assured her.

 

“Not for me. I won’t be there. I’m not going to let myself fall in love ever again. Ever.”�

 

Jocelyn leaned back, highly doubting that. That’s what girls always said–“I’ll never fall in love, it’s just too painful.”� Then they found some handsome fellow and the good times were always worth experiencing the bad.

 

Besides, what was life without a few trials to spice things up?

 

There was, of course, this interesting little development with Lily. _The_ Lily Evans. Amazing, and what a stroke of luck, really. She couldn’t wait to tell her the great news.

 

*~*

 

**A/N: Yes, it’s me again! Man, it’s a bit of a pain in the behind to have to put up all these stories again… I hadn’t realized I’d written so much! But moving on… I’m sort of rewriting this, just a tad. Not nearly as much as I did _White Houses_ , or anything… But something like it.**

****

**Much love,**

**Natali K. A.**


	2. Chapter Two

Song: “Invisible”� by Clay Aiken

 

**Chapter Two**

 

**By Natali**

 

“Fool!”� Sirius Black yelled at his best mate. “You’re a God damned fool, James! You’re sitting here while she’s off Lord knows where.”�

 

“As I recall,”� James bit out, glaring at the man in front of him, “I never asked for your opinion. Shove it, Black. I’m tired of your ranting. Stop.”�

 

“The hell I’m going to stop,”� Sirius nearly roared, slamming his closed fist on the desk beside James. “Potter, you go after her!”�

 

“No.”�

 

“JAMES POTTER!”� Lynn yelled, walking over to him. She was crying again. “GO TO HER, TELL HER YOU LOVE HER, AND DAMMIT, POTTER, MARRY HER!”�

 

“What the fuck do you care for, Sanders?”� James said calmly.

 

“Don’t swear at her,”� Sirius warned. “You’re skating on thin ice, Potter.”�

 

“I don’t skate, Black; I glide.”�

 

Sirius growled. “You’re a bastard, Potter. A _cowardly_ bastard.”�

 

James stood up so fast that he upset his chair. “Say it again, Black. I. Dare. You.”�

 

Sirius stepped towards him, but Julie interfered, a lit cigarette in her hand. She was visibly shaking. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare start fighting. Enough. I said, enough!”� She inhaled deeply from the cigarette before continuing. “This is old. James, go get her. My ass you don’t love her.”�

 

“Stay out of this, Julie,”� James said tersely. “I mean it.”�

 

“Since when do you smoke?”� Lynn asked her.

 

“Since Potter screwed up our lives with the Prostitute,”� Julie muttered. “No, Remus, don’t try to stop me from smoking. I need to relax.”�

 

“Don’t call her a prostitute,”� James said through gritted teeth. “What the hell does it bloody matter to you lot if I broke up with her? By Jove, it’s a miracle you haven’t killed me yet.”�

 

“Only because I’d be put in Azkaban,”� Remus said under his breath. James threw him a look.

 

“Shut it, Lupin.”� Suddenly, the door opened. Penny stepped in. James’s mood blackened even more. There she was. The whore.

 

“Hey,”� she said cheerily, trying to kiss him. He turned his head so that she got his cheek instead. He hated it when she touched him. “What’s the matter with all of you? Cat got your tongue?”� she teased, setting down her purse on the table.

 

“I want her out,”� Lynn said suddenly. “Yes, that’s it. Get out, you meddling whore.”�

 

“Come again?”� Penny blanched.

 

“I second that,”� Sirius said. “Leave, Penny. You’ve outstayed your welcome.”�

 

“Yes,”� Remus nodded. “Get the hell out. You’re the devil himself, by God.”�

 

“She’s staying. Leave her the hell alone,”� James argued. That witch. Why _didn’t_ she leave? Why had she even wanted to move in? She knew he hated her.

 

“I want her out, Potter!”� Julie exclaimed. “It’s four against one. Get out of this house already! You’re such a bloody slut! Oh, that surprises you, does it? It’s what we call you behind your back. You’re not _worthy_ of a name and you most certainly aren’t worthy to take Lily’s place.”�

 

“Julie!”� James roared, pushing her away from Penny. She’d been about to take out her wand. “Stop it. Penny, I’m sorry. Why don’t you–”�

 

He paused. Julie had just slapped him.

 

“That’s for Lily,”� she hissed, raising her hand and hitting him again. “That’s for bringing that harlot in here.”� Another slap. “And _that_ is to get the message across. Go after her, dammit!”�

 

He growled, seizing her arms. He saw Remus step towards them out of the corner of his eye.

 

“Remus, leave him,”� Julie commanded. She lowered her voice when she next spoke. “Come on, Potter,”� she whispered menacingly. “Hit me. Forget I’m a woman. You don’t seem to care for other people’s feelings. Hit me. _I want you to_.”�

 

For a moment, he let his defenses down. But just a moment.

 

It was enough for her.

 

“Send her out, James,”� she said, soft as possible. “Why keep her here?”�

 

“Because...”� he stammered, his eyes burning. He could hear his breathing begin to quicken. “For Lily... Julie, understand... Jules, my girl, please. After all these years... Did you really think...?”�

 

“Hush.”� She turned to Penny. “I’m sorry. Penny, we all are. It’s... It’s a tough time for us all. You’re not a whore, of course not!”�

 

“Julie!”� Lynn gasped.

 

“Shut up, Carolyn,”� Julie sighed. “Penny, could you excuse us?”� Her hazel eyes followed the dumb girl to the door of her room, where she disappeared. She turned back to James.

 

“I’ve known you since we were eleven. James, do what you’d like. What you _want_ ,”� she told him.

 

“Not what I want. What I must,”� James sighed. “Julie, please, don’t ask any more.”�

 

“What’s the matter?”� Lynn asked.

 

He shrugged. “I’m going away.”�

 

“We don’t know where she went,”� Sirius said. “She didn’t say. James, you’ll never find her.”�

 

“I am not going after her.”�

 

There was silence.

 

“Then you’re an arse,”� Julie said finally, calm as you please as if she’d just said the sun was shining. She walked to her room, Remus following her. Soon, James was left alone, Sirius and Lynn having left.

 

He picked up a vase and threw it against the wall. “Bloody hell.”� He swore again. “I swear I’ll make you pay, damn it. I will.”� He yanked his wallet off the table and ran out of the house, fuming and hurt.

 

*~*

_-At James’ parents’ house..._ -

 

“I see,”� Miriam Potter said, stirring her tea. “Son, I don’t know.”� She sighed heavily. “What I really need is a big bottle of whiskey.”�

 

“Mum,”� James groaned, hitting his head on the table of his parents’ kitchen. “I shouldn’t have told you.”�

 

“Of course you should have!”� Miriam protested. She opened her mouth to say more when one of the house elves dropped a piece of paper in front of her. She frowned as she opened it, read the one sentence, and looked at James, smiling. “Excuse me a moment, James. A friend wants to chat.”� She rose and practically ran up the stairs to her room.

 

James stared after her, incredulous. He’d really needed her advice, and she’d run up to _chat with a friend_?

 

“How’s Lily?”� his sister asked, coming into the kitchen. “I owled her yesterday, asking if I could borrow her black shoes but she never replied. She ok?”�

 

With an angry shout, he rose and nearly knocked the shit out of her. If he ever thought of Lily again...

 

“Don’t _ever_ say her name again,”� he whispered menacingly, mad at himself because he saw actual fear in his little baby sister’s eyes. “Never. Forget she ever even existed.”�

 

Meanwhile, Miriam was upstairs, kneeling in front of the fire.

 

“Bloody hell, Jocelyn,”� she laughed. “She’s _there_? With you? Of all places? Why on earth would she be in the middle of nowhere, as everyone knows Wrights’ Hall is.”�

 

“Not Wrights’ Hall,”� Jocelyn argued. “No, no, about a mile from it. We’re at some pathetic, smelly little inn. I just happened to stop by here on my way to Brighton. But you know that I don’t really have a plan. I just saw her, saw she hurt, and asked her what was the matter. When I heard it was about James ‘Spawn-of-Satan’ Potter, why, I nearly laughed. And to think this was his famous Lily!”�

 

Miriam sighed heavily. “He’s downstairs right now, Jo. I don’t know what to do with him. He just revealed something very... _interesting_ , if you catch my meaning.”�

 

“Another woman?”�

 

“Oh, no! I wish! I’m afraid I can’t tell you. It’s deadly dangerous, you see.”�

 

“Oh, bosh. He’s lying to you, and you just don’t realize it, darling.”�

 

“By Jove, my son does _not_ lie to me, you ninny!”� Miriam hissed. “Charlie should be back pretty soon. He’s over with the Prince Regent.”�

 

“The _muggle_?”�

 

“Not a muggle apparently,”� she whispered. “Princess Di, God bless her poor soul–”�

 

“Indeed.”�

 

“–was a witch. The first in her family, too. No wonder she was such a marvel. Such a pity...”�

 

“Anyway, we’re digressing,”� Jocelyn said. “Do I keep her here? What if she leaves?”�

 

“Do that. And if she does, follow her, whether she likes it or not, and contact me.”�

 

“Very well.”� Jocelyn paused. “Miry, darling, what does James... Well, what does he think of her? I mean, he was so brutal about it, from Lily’s story, and it always sounded to me like they were going to get married and have dozens of children.”�

 

Miriam took her time to think over her answer. “Well, it’s like this, Jo. He was brutal, very much so, and just when she thought they’d get married too. But he’s convinced, because of this, um, _complication_ , that he can live without her. And while his heart’s in the right place, he’s going about it all wrong.”�

 

“Is it blackmail? Threatening Lily?”�

 

“If only it were just that, Jo. It threatens Lily, their children, and their grandchildren. It threatens their very happiness.”�

 

“So, perhaps, just perhaps, he’s right about it.”�

 

Miriam shook her head. “No, that’s not it. Because in the end, she’ll still be killed.”�

 

Jocelyn was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know, Miry. I really don’t.”� After another pause, she spoke again, this time much more serious. “Lily’s revealed something to me, something very important.”�

 

“Whatever would that be, Jo?”�

 

“She might be pregnant.”�

 

James, having had to use the toilet, had heard his mum speaking to her fireplace. He had been about to walk away when he heard Lily’s name. And he just barely caught the end of it.

 

She might be pregnant? With his son? He couldn’t feel his body. Miriam didn’t hear him. It was as if his blood had literally turned to ice. Was she sure of it? Why hadn’t she mentioned anything about it to him?

 

“Is she sure it’s his baby? I just need to ask.”�

 

He was filled with fury. How dare his mother question Lily’s faithfulness? His fists clenched and unclenched.

 

“Yes. I’m a little upset by that question, but in truth, I asked it myself.”� The person, who sounded vaguely familiar to James, sighed loudly. “It is. She’s not sure if she is yet. But she’s admitted that she won’t tell him, even if she is.”�

 

“I’d have to, you know. He’s my son first, as much as I love Lily to pieces. Oh my, my heart aches with this. Those poor children of mine.”�

 

“You’ve adopted her then, Miriam? She’s _that_ special?”�

 

He figured his mum nodded, because the lady in the fire kept speaking.

 

“Miry, if they don’t make it...”�

 

“She’s still my daughter, if only in my heart. I asked her if I could adopt her, legally, but she thought it’d be weird to be married to her ‘brother’. We joked about it then. They were that sure, Jo. They were _that_ sure they were going to marry. That must have been a year or so ago.”�

 

“How long have you known her that she means so much to you? She’s a dear, I know that firsthand. I’m already in love with her even. But from what I understand, they weren’t all that crazy about each until three years ago.”�

 

“They weren’t,”� Miriam confirmed. “But James brought her home to meet us.”�

 

“So?”� Jocelyn asked, hoping that Lily didn’t decide to come to see her just now. It was a little after nine, and they were planning on talking more about it.

 

“It was the first, and most likely last, girl he ever brought home to us, Jocelyn.”� Miriam could feel her throat get tight. “I knew from the moment I saw James look at her. I just knew they loved each other.”�

 

“When was this?”�

 

“Must have been no more than a month after they had their first date, something like that.”�

 

James stepped into the room. “Five weeks exactly, Mum. And that’s also when I figured out that your knowledge of boy/girl relationships is creepy. I’ll come by later.”�

 

“James! Wait! How much did you hear?”�

 

He turned only for a moment. “That she might be pregnant.”� He disappeared without another word, momentarily forgetting that he could ask the lady in the fire where Lily was.

 

Miriam turned back to Jocelyn. “Oh, dear.”�

 

“Well I say, Miry,”� Jocelyn sighed. “I do think he’s still madly in love with her.”�

*~*

_-Memories..._ -

 

“Hey there, Evans.”� James potter sat down at the bench beside her. “I didn’t know you played that muggle monstrosity.”�

 

She laughed. “Monstrosity now, Potter?”�

 

“You hit that note wrong. It was supposed to be a middle C.”�

 

“I say, you play, Potter?”� Lily gestured toward the ivory keys. “Play for me, will you?”�

 

“No. Not unless I get something in return.”�

 

She looked at him thoughtfully, contemplating the events of last night, Friday, when he’d joined her friends at the table. She cocked her head slightly to the side, amusing James to no end. He smiled charmingly and hoped that she would agree.

 

“What would you like?”� she said finally, cautiously. “Though I have an idea...”�

 

“Just forty-five minutes of your time.”�

 

She rose, furious. “I’m not easy, Potter,”� she snapped, making to leave him. “How dare you? Go ask someone else. I’m sure she’ll agree. Maybe you can even pay her.”�

 

“Evans, that’s not what I meant,”� he scowled. “For God’s sake, Evans! _If_ I was asking you to have sex with me, do you really think I’d do it like that? No, you ninny, I meant a date. A forty-five minute bloody date. Not sex. And for Pete’s sake! It sure would take longer than forty-five minutes if it was sex!”�

 

Despite herself, she laughed, her voice filling the common room. She gazed at the small piano she’d bugged Dumbledore to place there. He’d finally given in. She smiled softly before turning back to him.

 

“All right. I will,”� she agreed, running a hand through her hair. “But mind you, nothing’s going to happen.”� Her brilliant green eyes danced. “So, how are we sneaking out this lovely Saturday evening, Potter? _After_ you play a piece for me. And it must be decent, or no deal.”�

 

“Only if you play with me,”� he whispered in her ear.

 

She nodded, then shook her head in an amused way. “All right. We’ll play this old song I know. It’s called _‘Barbara Allen_ ’. Do you know it?”�

 

He nodded, rising.

 

“Where the hell you going, Potter? I thought we had a deal,”� she smiled. But he only straddled her from behind and set his hands on the keys.

 

“Or would you rather sing?”� he teased. “Go on then. I’ll add once you’ve started.”�

 

She did just that, hitting the beginning notes to the song. The piano attracted the attention of her friends. Lynn called out, “Whoo! Go, Lils! Go get the bugger.”�

 

There was a bunch of snickering, but Lily was having the time of her life. She didn’t realize that his hand was moving across her stomach until the song ended. He was gently massaging it. She could also feel his member stiff against her butt.

 

“Not bad, Potter,”� she admitted, half-turning to see him. “Not bad at all.”� She smiled, a dazzling smile, one she knew sent many of the Hogwarts guys drooling.

 

To her, it seemed he barely noticed. He only smiled back.

 

But James felt every bit of that smile all the way down to his toes. It lit up a room, that smile, and ever since him and a bunch of Seventh Years, Lily included, had gone swimming in the lake at two in the morning after a late party, he’d been noticing it a lot.

 

He stood and offered her his hand. “Come on. I’ve got a way to get out.”�

 

She smiled again, and laughed, running out of the common room with him.

 

Lynn shook her head, placing one of her cards on the table. “By God, I do think they’re going to have some fun,”� she giggled.

 

“But I think,”� Julie said, parting from Remus, who she’d been kissing, “that I need to report their leaving the common room as this absurd hour.”�

 

There was a laugh from around the table.

 

“Yeah, sure thing, Julie. You and Remus there are going to report your best mates. Naturally,”� Sirius laughed. “Did I ever mention that I hate whist?”�

 

“How’s poker then? It’s a big thing in the muggle world,”� Jenna Miranda said. “And I’m better at it than whist, so what the hell, right?”�

 

“See, this is what I love about school,”� Brian said suddenly. “Popular kids get all the fun.”� They all laughed.

 

“You know the rest of the school hates us though, right?”� a First Year boy by the name of Eliot Truman said.

 

Lynn shrugged. “We rule the school. And, lucky for us, the Heads are bloody awesome!”�

 

Julie stood with her apple juice in hand. “Sorry I don’t permit alcoholic beverages during the year, but I daresay, here’s to the summer, when we’ll be graduated, and I can drunk whenever the hell want!”�

 

“And we can shag until–”� Remus began to say, but Julie silenced him with a look. “Yes, of course! To the year!”�

 

Somewhere else in that grand, old castle, James and Lily were running through the corridors, still holding hands. He hadn’t released it on purpose. She hadn’t retrieved it because she forgot.

 

When he stopped in front of a classroom, she looked at him. “Why on earth would you want to go in here?”�

 

But he only smiled and held the door open for her. She realized it was McGonogall’s office.

 

“We shouldn’t be here, of all places, Potter,”� she hissed.

 

“I know,”� he chuckled. He walked toward a pot near the fireplace. “But we won’t be here long. Come, we can’t take too much, or she’ll know someone else was here.”� He pulled her next to him. She felt lovely, all soft, and warm. And she smelled so good. Then again, females always smelled good. “Wrights’ Hall!”�

 

When they stepped back out of the grate, they were in a very, very old house.

 

“Shh... I know the guy that lives here, but his parents despise me.”� He grinned and led her out a side door. “That just happens to be the only fireplace in the entire place,”� he explained. “They warm the house magically. And it’s conveniently located by a side door, too.”�

 

Lily nodded, looking about her. They were in the middle of... well, nowhere. That was the only building for miles, except a small cottage a bit of ways away.

 

“Where are we going?”� she asked him, linking arms together. The grass was tall, and she was thankful she’d chosen pants to wear that day.

 

“You’ll see,”� he chuckled.

 

“Can I ask you a question, Potter?”� She looked at him curiously.

 

“My name is James, though Mum tends to call me the Spawn of Satan.”� He grinned, making her knees weak. She’d never disagreed that Potter was handsome. She’d just never been the sole recipient of one of the charming smiles.

 

“James, then. Can I ask you something?”�

 

“Sure, Evans.”�

 

“Ah, you’re sly,”� she said, shoving him playfully. “I suppose we’re on first-name basis now. You may call me Lily.”�

 

“Lily-Flower?”�

 

“No, Lily.”�

 

“Lillian?”�

 

“No, Lily.”�

 

“Lila?”�

 

“No, just Lily.”�

 

“Lils then? That’s what your mates call you.”�

 

“Not just yet, James.”�

 

He laughed, shaking his head. “Going to make me work for it, eh? All right, I’ll give you that. What do you want to ask?”�

 

“Why did you want to take me out?”�

 

He shrugged. “How the devil should I know? I think you’re pretty.”�

 

“Not to sound conceited or anything, but you just now figured it out?”� She laughed. “That sounds so arrogant. I didn’t mean it to be. I just meant did you think I was less than pretty before?”�

 

“No. I just thought I’d like to get to know you.”� He feigned a hurt look. “Why? You don’t find me neither attractive nor worth getting to know?”�

 

“Hardly,”� she teased, eyes dancing.

 

“Do your eyes always do that, Lily?”�

 

She frowned. “Do what?”�

 

“Dance like that. Whenever you smile.”�

 

She tried her hardest not to appear shocked. She just barely pulled if off. “Well, I wouldn’t know, now would I? I can hardly watch myself all the damn day, can I? And no one’s ever said something like that to me. So I don’t know.”�

 

“Well, I’m here to tell you that I think they do. Now I’ll be able to tell when you’re not really smiling. You’ll never be able to lie to me! Just think of the possibilities! Like if I asked you right now ‘Do you want me?’ I’d be able to tell whether or not you’re lying.”�

 

Lily laughed, her head thrown back. He smiled, pleased he’d been funny, and looked at the luscious hair that hung loose down her back. It reached her waist.

 

“You’re a laugh, James.”� She shook her head, as if clearing her mind. “Are we there yet?”�

 

“This seems as good a spot as any. I can’t believe you let me bring you here. What if I was going to rape you?”�

 

“You’d be met with my wand promptly being shoved up your arse, and so far up people will think you’re just always happy to see them.”� They laughed. “So, what are we going to do for the next forty or so minutes?”� she asked, looking up at him. She’d never realized he was so tall. Or so broad-shouldered. Suddenly, James Potter was very... _male_ to her.

 

“Ever been dancing under the stars, Lily?”� he asked softly, inclining his head so that they were just a few inches apart.

 

“No,”� she admitted. “Have you?”�

 

He shook his head, his beautiful blue eyes never leaving her. “I know that you know I’m a charmer. I’ll admit, it’s what I do best, besides Quidditch. But I’d truly like to try this dancing beneath the stars thing with you. If you’ll let me. And if not, then I have to admit I’ve got no more ideas, and we’ll have to head back.”�

 

She laughed softly. “I’ll dance with you, James. But there’s no music.”� She’d said it as a joke. They were two young wizards! They could _conjure_ music.

 

James did just that, a soft melody Lily didn’t know coming from nowhere.

 

“May I have this dance, my lady?”� he asked, fake-bowing. She laughed and gave him her hand, smiling as he drew her closer, but not quite touching him.

 

“James, I do believe you’re a gentleman,”� she mocked, unaware that she was gently massaging the place where her hand lay on his shoulder.

 

He only chuckled softly, and rested his cheek against hers.

 

They danced until the end of the song, where they promptly sat on the ground. Without a second thought, as if it were the most natural thing on earth, James sat behind her, his arms wrapped around her middle.

And so they sat. Sometimes they chatted, about the weather and the stars and something Jimmy had said yesterday in Charms; sometimes they were silent, simply being together.

 

Eventually, after a very long silence, Lily spoke up.

 

“This is all terribly romantic and all, but we should get back. It’s been at least an hour,”� she said softly. “But first, I need to clear something up. Seriously, James, why all this?”�

 

“I told you. I want to get to know you. And I want the rights to stare at you and not be creepy about it,”� he laughed, nuzzling her neck. After a moment’s hesitation, he added, “I really wasn’t planning on sleeping with you, you know.”�

 

“I know. But...”� She shrugged. “I mean, you’re Potter the Player. I think I’m getting played.”�

 

“No, you’re not,”� he assured her. “I never give this much thought to a date. Or this much patience. And tonight, Lily-Flower, I’m only going to attempt a quick kiss, and if you say no, I won’t insist.”�

 

“You’ve given me quite the surprise,”� she told him as they got up. “A pleasant one. Thank you.”�

 

“Anytime, Lily. I’d like to do this again. Or something else. Whatever you’d like.”� He smiled suddenly. “I’m going in for that kiss I mentioned. I’m asking for your permission, here, Lily.”�

 

She giggled. Gosh, when was the last time a guy made her giggle like some silly schoolgirl? Eh, not since she _was_ a silly little schoolgirl. Now she was a mature schoolgirl. She slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and nodded.

 

When their lips met, Lily shook. It was so soft, unlike any kiss she’d ever received before. It lasted only fifteen seconds, and he pulled away. And nothing more. Without another word, he took her hand and headed for Wrights’ Hall.

 

Later, in her dorm room, Lily was bombarded by questions.

 

“Did you have fun?”� Lynn giggled, flipping through a magazine of the 50 most eligible wizards. She glanced up at Lily a moment and wiggled her eyebrows. “How was it, Lils? Is he as ‘big’ as he’s rumored to be?”�

 

“You’re nasty, Lynn,”� Lily laughed, chucking a pillow at her. “Shouldn’t you two be asleep? It’s nearly four in the morning!”�

 

“The same could be said for you, Lils,”� Julie said casually, not looking up from painting her toenails. “We’d still be downstairs if McGonogall hadn’t come in and forced us out half an hour ago. Said we were too loud. And she lectured Remus and I. By God, what a bore.”�

 

“This coming from the Head Girl?”� Lily teased, beginning to remove the light amount of makeup she wore. “But we didn’t do anything, thank you.”�

 

One of their roommates poked her head out from behind the curtains of her bed.

 

“Really now?”� Angel said. She laughed. “Not one thing? _Potter_ didn’t attempt one single thing? I don’t believe it, Lily. Sorry.”�

 

Lily shrugged, brushing her hair. “We didn’t though. And he didn’t. He did kiss me, but that’s nothing, as we all know. And he asked my permission before too. He’s a great kisser you know.”�

 

“Well, that must have at least lasted for two minutes. Were his hands wandering?”� Andy asked, also coming out from bed.

 

“No. It lasted fifteen seconds at the most, and he didn’t even touch me.”� She thought about it, then added, “Well, my waist, but his hands stayed still.”�

 

Lynn frowned. “What’s he playing at?”�

 

Lily frowned too, but at her friend. “What do you mean?”�

 

“Everyone knows Potter only goes for sex, then dumps the girls,”� Julie explained. “Most don’t even care, as long as they get to do it with him.”�

 

“You’ve been one of his closest friends for seven years, Julie!”� Lily rounded on her. “Some friend, mate. I wonder what you say behind my back.”�

 

Julie shook her head. “You’re misunderstanding me. Yes, we’re friends, but you’re my best mate, Lils. I’m supposed to protect you first. I wonder what he’s after. Maybe a dare?”�

 

Lily got angry. She could feel her face flushing. “I suppose it’s impossible to _like_ me, right? ‘Cause I’m so unlikable, and guys only want to jump into bed with Virgin Lily, right? Thanks you lot. Thanks a bundle.”�

 

“Don’t be mad, Lils,”� Lynn rolled her eyes.

 

“I agree,”� Angel nodded. “I mean, he’s Potter the Player. Everyone knows that. It’s just the bare facts.”�

 

“Well, he was a gentleman tonight, and was quite sweet about it,”� Lily said stubbornly, walking to her bed. “Goodnight ‘ _friends_ ’.”�

 

“Oh, Lils,”� Julie sighed, jumping from her bed to Lily’s. “We didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that it’s unusual. Potter always goes for the younger girls. ‘Cause they’re easier to bed. And occasionally the Seventh Year Whores in Slytherin.”�

 

“I don’t know how he can even look at them,”� Andy snorted, shaking her head. “He despises the whole lot.”�

 

“It’s sort of an unspoken agreement I suppose,”� Angel said thoughtfully. “I mean, they hate him back and everything. But they’re fine with each other in the bedroom. That’s all right. I’d rather he fuck them than try to seduce me.”�

 

They all laughed, even Lily.

 

“You know, I don’t know. I mean, it’s Potter and all, but he was really different tonight,”� Lily sighed, pulling off her shirt and putting on her pajama. “I don’t think we’ll get serious or anything.”�

 

“Did he ask you out again?”� Lynn asked.

 

“Yeah. I said yes. I think. I don’t know. It’s kind of a blur,”� Lily admitted.

 

“Where’d he take you?”� Julie giggled.

 

“None of your business,”� Lily smiled teasingly, and pushed her off the bed. “Now go off, you bitch. I’m going to bed.”�

 

*~*

_-Present..._ -

“Damn,”� James muttered, picking up a handful of Floo Powder and stepping into the fireplace. “Damn it, James. Of course she’s there. Where else would she go? Fuck, that’s where I’d go. That’s where I’ve been wanting to go.”�

 

He sighed as he traveled to Wrights’ Hall. The moment he stepped out of the fireplace, he was met by his friend.

 

“Ryan, do you know if Lily’s been through here?”� he asked his friend.

 

Ryan shook his head. “No. I haven’t seen her. Why?”�

 

“Never mind. I’m sorry. I-I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”�

With that, James pushed open the side door they’d gone through that first date, and ran from the house, praying she was somewhere there.

*~*

**A/N: Alritey, until next week!! Review please!**

**This story is so much more dramatic than I remembered. Will change that. Sort of. We'll see...**

**Natali K. A.**


	3. Chapter Three

Song: “At Last”� by Etta James

 

Chapter Three 

 

By Natali K. A.

 

“Well, Lily m’dear,”� Jocelyn sighed as they sat at the same table they did yesterday. “Continue with your story.”�

 

Lily shook her head. “Jocelyn, I’m really grateful, but I can’t. It hurts too much. I even avoided my friends. They don’t even know where I am. They wouldn’t understand anyway. I never told them where we went that first date.”�

 

“You told me the story of your first date while we were eating. It’s time you continued.”�

 

“With what? Every single thing we did?”�

 

“Most certainly not! I might not have anywhere to go, my dear, but I hardly think I’ll stay here for three years,”� Jocelyn chuckled. “Anything that comes to mind, love,”� she said more softly. “Any happy memory. That’s what you need to remember. The happy memories.”�

 

“They all were,”� Lily sighed sadly. “Even when I was fighting with my mates, he’d still make me laugh. That only happened once, my being mad at my mates, I mean, but even _that_ was a happy memory.”�

 

“Did you ever fight?”�

 

Tears filled Lily’s green eyes. Jocelyn should have known just by looking at her that this was Lily, James’s Lily, the girl Miriam had always said he doted on. With the way Miriam had always gone on about her… It was unfortunate–or fortunate?–they’d never met prior to this, but things had always gotten in the way.

 

“Once, for three minutes, over what we were going to eat. That’s it. And we were laughing the whole time through. I don’t get it, Jocelyn! Three years, and not a single fight, or a single cross word. Well, that’s not entirely true. I was mad with him enough, and vice versa, we just never fought. Not really. Just disagreed. And I called him loads of things.”�

 

When she didn’t elaborate, Jocelyn said, “Such as?”�

 

Lily smiled. “Ungrateful bastard, unbearable little cockroach, faggot, spawn of the devil, and my favorite, you horny little bastard.”�

 

Jocelyn chuckled. “I presume he called you names as well?”�

 

“Naturally,”� Lily laughed. She played with the edge of her napkin. “Of course, it was all meant in a playful way, so we never took offense. But I shouldn’t say that we _never_ argued. Just never fought. And in three years, we never broke it off.”�

 

“That’s good.”�

 

“That’s bloody awesome. I’ve been in God knows how many relationships. Some only lasted for just a week or so, and we fought so many times and threatened to separate.”� Lily looked out the window. “He was perfect.”�

 

“Was, my love?”� Jocelyn asked softly.

 

Lily nodded. “Was,”� she repeated. “He did something to me that I can never forgive, because I still love him, but my hate overrides that now, Jocelyn. But anyway, I’ll tell you another story. This was about a month after that first date right out there in the meadow.”�

 

“I’m listening.”� Jocelyn wondered what it was he had done. From what Miriam had hinted at, he was just going about it the wrong way… Did Lily mean she couldn’t forgive him for breaking up with her? But that seemed rather unlikely.

 

“Well, he hadn’t asked me out since. We were talking more than before, but otherwise we were just friends. I was a little hurt, but I figured it was for the better. I had fooled myself into thinking that I loved him, just after that first night. What I hadn’t realized that all the time we spent together, much of it alone, was a date in his own way. We went all around the castle; the library to read together, snuggling, the greenhouses to fling dirt at each other, the towers to walk along the turrets.”�

 

“That’s sweet,”� Jocelyn said without thinking. “I never knew James was such a romantic.”�

 

Lily looked at her questioningly. “I thought you didn’t know him.”�

 

“Oh, I don’t,”� Jocelyn replied quickly, too quickly. Lily raised her eyebrows. “No, I just _feel_ like I know him. From your stories.”�

 

“My three little stories?”�

 

“Yes.”�

 

Lily shrugged. “Whatever. Anyway, we were going to visit Hogsmeade one Saturday. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, you see...”�

 

*~*

 

(-- _Memories_...--)

 

Lily laughed, hitting James playfully on his arm. “You’re a horny little bastard, aren’t you?”� she asked, grabbing his hand as they walked out of the Hogwarts gates. They were the last ones to leave because they’d taken too long eating breakfast. Both had been late to that too–it was two in the morning before they got back from setting up a prank for the Potions master.

 

“Slightly so, Miss Evans,”� he grinned, looking her over with his blue eyes. “Mmm mmm! What milk are you drinking, Lily?”�

 

She laughed again, shaking her head. “Oh, Potter, what am I going to do with you?”�

 

“On one hand,”� he said, sliding his hand to her waist, “you could tie me up with handcuffs and torture me until I beg you to stop.”�

 

“James!”� she blushed.

 

“On the other...”� He paused, looking away from her. “You could come with me to meet my parents.”�

Lily gasped dramatically. With a hand clasped to her chest she said, “The Parents? Oh, my James. Whatever shall I do?”� She smiled, dropping the act. “I don’t know. I mean, look at what I’m wearing.”�

 

He did. He could feel a tightening in his groin. How he’d managed to refrain from throwing her down wherever they were to do very naughty things to her, he’d never know.

 

“I have noticed,”� he muttered, looking her over again. “Oh, man, Lily, have I noticed!”� He groaned and stopped, pulling her closer. He hadn’t kissed her since that night nearly a month ago. James was sorely tempted to do it now.

 

“James,”� she said softly, leaning on him slightly. “I’m gonna seem like some whore. And I’m not.”�

 

He had the gall to laugh. “My parents will not be looking at what you’re wearing, Lily. They’ll be wondering why it is that I brought you home to meet them.”�

 

Her pulse quickened suddenly. “I’m the first girl you’ve brought home, James?”�

 

He laughed softly as he kissed her neck. “Yes, Lily.”�

 

“Why?”�

 

He stopped in mid-kiss, frowning. “Well, because I like you, Lily. Why else?”�

 

“It’s just that you haven’t asked me out since that night,”� she muttered. “That’s all.”�

 

“You don’t want to go out with me?”�

 

“Never said that. I just thought that you didn’t want to get serious.”�

 

“Do you?”�

 

“What do you think?”�

 

“True. All woman want commitment,”� he chuckled. “Lily... I didn’t ask you out because I thought that’s what we were doing. Just not out, because I can’t get expelled from Hogwarts or Mum will kill me with her own two hands. I need to be a good boy for the remainder of the year.”�

 

“I agree,”� Lily nodded. “ _But_ , your mum will have to wait ‘til I’m done with you if you do get expelled.”� She giggled and softly kissed him quickly. James was about to lean in for another, deeper kiss when they heard a shout.

 

“Ah-ha!”� Sirius’s voice sounded through the air. “I _knew_ it. You two’ve been making out all this time. Prongs, how could you?”�

 

“Yeah, Lils,”� Lynn laughed, walking up to them with Sirius. “I’ve asked you for the past month what moves Potter’s been making on you. I’m hurt, mate. I’m hurt.”�

 

Lily rolled her eyes, but didn’t extricate herself from James’s arms. They were very firm and male (how she hated that word. But it was the only thing that did him justice), and very much strong around her. So even if she had wanted to step away from him–which she most certainly didn’t–she wouldn’t have been able to. She looked at her best mate and Sirius, who were looking oddly cozy with each other.

 

“I could say the same,”� Lily smirked. “It’s been my experience, Black, that when you want to keep a relationship on the low, it’s best _not_ to have your hand on the girl’s ass. Right, James?”�

 

James grinned down at her. “I totally agree.”� He paused, eyes glinting dangerously. “ _But_ , seeing as I have no wish to keep our relationship a secret...”� She felt his hand slide slowly from her waist to her left buttock. 

 

He chuckled.

 

She swatted at his arm playfully, and turned to look back at Sirius and Lynn, who were grinning at them.

 

“What’s wrong with you lot?”� she frowned. “Do we amuse you?”�

 

“Indefinitely,”� Lynn muttered. She snapped out of her thoughts. “What’re your plans today, lovebirds? I hear they have an interesting little show at the auditorium this afternoon. A lecture, actually. On the careers of the age. As boring as it sounds, Sirius and I plan to go.”�

 

“And since when are you two on a first name basis, Clancy?”� James asked shrewdly.

 

Lynn blushed. She ignored him. “Your plans, then?”�

 

“I think James is taking me to meet his parents,”� Lily replied, examining her fingernails. “Unless he’s changed his mind.”�

 

“Not at all,”� James insisted, moving his hand back up from her bottom and gently massaging her back. The tender motion sent Lily’s pulse racing. “I mentioned to Mum and Dad to be at home in case I brought a friend.”�

 

Sirius’s masculine eyebrows flew up. “Seriously, James? You’re taking Evans to meet your parents?”�

 

James narrowed his eyes at his friend. “Yes, I am, Sirius.”� The tone he used was enough to get the message across to Sirius. He promptly shut his mouth.

 

Lynn, who’d been staring at the two males oddly, shrugged and sighed. “Very well. We’ll leave you then.”�

 

“And Julie? Where’s she?”� Lily asked.

 

Sirius snickered evilly. Lynn smiled at him as if they shared some sort of secret, which they most likely did.

 

“They’re... _busy_ ,”� Lynn sniggered. “ _Working_ on their Head duties. In Julie’s mum’s house. Two miles out of Hogsmeade.”�

 

Lily chortled too. “Ah, I see. And, um, they don’t plan to be back until they’ve ‘solved every problem that comes upon them as Heads’?”�

 

The four friends broke out into laughter.

 

“No, but seriously,”� Lynn finally said. “There’s a party at Brian’s house later on. Naturally, we’re all going to get expelled for it if we’re caught.”�

 

“But it’s worth the risk,”� Sirius added. “He’s getting the same disc jockey as last time. It’ll be wicked, because this time we don’t have to be back at Hogwarts until nightfall. It rocks to be graduating from this damned place.”�

 

“Finally,”� James agreed. “We’ll see you later then?”� Lynn and Sirius nodded. “Fine. Come on. I think Mum is just about to wet herself.”� He pulled her closer to him and apparated.

 

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Lynn?”� Sirius asked.

 

“That James Potter has never taken home a girl before?”� she said quietly. “Just that, Sirius. I have a feeling there’s more to it though.”�

 

He nodded. “It’s because he wouldn’t take home any of his girlfriends–and they tried.”�

 

“Why ever not, Sirius?”�

 

He paused, hesitating. “He didn’t want to present someone to his parents that didn’t matter to him.”�

 

Lynn let the information sink in. “He cares for Lils, then?”� When Sirius nodded, she shook her head. “But Sirius, Potter doesn’t care about his girls. He’s The Player, for goodness’ sake!”�

 

But Sirius only shrugged. “I’m telling you what I know, Lynn. And what I know is that that git, Potter, is falling for Evans. Hard.”�

 

“All the better then,”� Lynn said softly. “Because ever since he snuck out of the common room with her a month ago, she’s never been happier.”� She lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. “I knew she’d find him one day.”�

 

“Him who?”�

 

“Why, you know, _him_. The only man that would put up with Lily and that Lily could put up with.”�

 

*~*

 

When Lily opened her eyes, because she’d closed them (apparating wasn’t her favorite thing to do), she saw a sort of parlor with a very lovely looking light-haired brunette sitting at the desk. The lady, with James’s clear hazel eyes, looked up and her face lit up.

 

She stood, arm extended. “Hello, my dear. I’m Miriam Potter, James’s mum, just to clarify.”� She eyed James, and frowned momentarily, before resuming her bright smile.

 

Lily accepted the hand she was offered and shook it. “Lily Evans.”�

 

“Told you I’d be coming round, Mum,”� James smiled, grabbing Lily’s hand back and heading for the exit. “Is Cook making lunch? I’m famished.”�

 

Lily sighed. “You just ate no more than twenty minutes ago.”� She noticed his mum following her. “And it’s awfully rude, too.”�

 

But Miriam smiled. “James has a fetish with eating. If he doesn’t eat every hour, he dies.”�

 

Lily laughed. “I believe it, Mrs. Potter.”� When she smiled and saw that James’s mother was scowling, she quickly sobered. “I’m sorry. Did I offend you?”�

 

“Mum hates formalities,”� James explained, grabbing an apple from a bowl atop the kitchen counter. “Hello, Cook,”� he said to the fifty-something year old lady at the stove. The cook nodded in greeting. “This is Lily.”�

 

“’Ello, miss,”� Cook said. “Just call me Cook. Everyone does. ‘Cept Master Potter. ‘E calls me Fran. I ‘ate the name, miss.”�

 

Lily smiled. “Nice to meet you, Cook. You may call me Lily.”�

 

Miriam clapped her hands. “Ah, splendid. Lily, dear, I just know I’m going to love you. That hair, by the way, is simply heavenly. Natural, I daresay. You like chicken in duck sauce, I say? If not we can cook up something more.”�

 

“I like it, Miriam,”� Lily assured her. “And thank you. I got my mum’s hair.”�

 

James sent his mother a warning glance.

 

She didn’t ask.

 

“Lucky for you, then. Ah, here’s Charlie. Charlie!”� she cried out. She leaned closer to Lily and said, “My husband, you know.”�

 

“Mum’s infatuated with him,”� James whispered in Lily ear. “It’s revolting.”�

 

Lily laughed, and shook her head.

 

A tall, slightly plump around the middle man came through the door of the kitchen. She could see where James got his black hair. The man must have been at least fifty, but he didn’t have one gray hair on his head. He had the same facial features as James, while Miriam looked more feminine. Charlie’s dark, nearly black, eyes lit when they spotted Lily.

 

“I see James’s ‘ _friend_ ’ is here,”� he said jovially. He walked towards her, catching her off guard by hugging her. “Lovely to meet you, my dear.”�

 

“ _Dad_ ,”� James hissed, cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “For God’s sake, man! Release her.”�

 

Lily laughed. “Lily Evans, sir.”�

 

“Charlie. Just Charlie. Well, my name is Charleston, for some absurd reason, but it’s Charlie.”� The man flicked a glance at his wife. Lily could swear they were communicating through their eyes.

 

James must have felt that too. “Mum, Dad,”� he said quickly. “I’m going to show Lily the garden then.”� He turned to her. “Mum’s got a gigantic rose garden. Girls seem to like it, though I prefer the apple orchard.”�

He led her out the door that led to the garden she hadn’t noticed. With a soft gasp, Lily stopped dead in her tracks.

 

“My gosh, James,”� she breathed, staring at the scene around her.

 

Roses. Roses of all colors and size; some were classic looking, while others looked positively wild. There was an arch of some sort overhead, and there were roses growing there too. The scent that reached Lily’s nostrils was intoxicating; it must have been similar to heaven.

 

“I’m guessing you like it then,”� he chuckled, leading her to the other side of the rose arch. There lay even more flowers, roses and other blooms scattered amongst the place.

 

“Your mum must be very devoted,”� Lily muttered absently. “This is gorgeous.”�

 

“She spends hours here. It’s her haven of sorts. Away from me and my sister,”� James said. He looked about him. It’d been awhile since he’d really taken a look at any of it. It _was_ a work of art. “She doesn’t use magic either. God knows what it would look like if she did.”�

 

“Miriam has a green thumb,”� she noted, still looking all around her. She spotted her namesake. “Oh, look there, James! It’s a lily.”� She laughed. Without a word, James stepped forward and plucked the bloom from its plant.

 

“A lily, for the most beautiful flower in Britain,”� he muttered softly, slipping it behind her ear. He smiled softly and kissed her lips.

 

She smiled back. “You shouldn’t have plucked it. Won’t your mum be upset? After all, it _is_ her flower.”�

 

He shrugged carelessly. “I don’t quite think she’ll be too upset.”�

 

Lily looked back toward the now empty kitchen. Even Cook was out of sight. “They seemed very nice, James. Why haven’t you ever brought any of your girlfriends home? I know a lot of them only last for about a week, but there’ve been a handful that were about a month long.”�

 

He looked away from her. “Because,”� he said simply. When he didn’t elaborate, Lily pursued the subject, and him–he’d gone down the path.

 

“But _why_ , James? What’s your reason?”� she persisted, colliding with him abruptly when he stopped.

 

He turned and grabbed her shoulders to steady her. “Because. None of them mattered to me.”�

 

She furrowed her eyebrows. “What–?”�

 

He covered her mouth with his own.

 

( _Back in the kitchen_...)

 

“Charlie,”� Miriam said softly, peering out through the curtains. “Do you see that? Our baby has finally gone and found himself a girlfriend worthy of us.”�

 

Charlie nodded. “I spoke to Sirius this morning, when we got that owl saying he’d come by. I wanted to ask him a few questions.”�

 

Miriam looked nonplussed. “Sirius? _Black_? Why? And what questions?”�

 

“I asked him what the deal was with James and his ‘friend’. Apparently, according to my source, James hasn’t even _tried_ to convince her to climb into his bed.”�

 

Miriam frowned deeply. “I have never liked that about James. He’s been doing it then? I told him I wanted him to stop. But anyway, that’s good. So all they’ve done is kiss?”�

 

“It would appear so.”� Charlie looked out the window. “Though it would seem that they’re deeply involved in doing so. James must have said something charming,”� he chuckled.

 

His wife looked out the window too, and saw her son and his girlfriend seated on a bench at the far side of her garden, her third child so to speak. From where she stood, she could see a lily blossom tucked behind Lily’s left ear. Her blue eyes flitted to the hand that was caressing Lily’s neck.

 

It was a sight too beautiful for words.

 

Even though he was still her baby, forever and always, Miriam realized that he _was_ a human being and that he would have girlfriends by the ton. But the way he held her against him... The tender the kisses...

 

“Oh, Charlie,”� she sighed happily. “Look at them. The moment I saw them... Charlie, I knew.”�

 

Her husband nodded slightly to her left. “Miriam, should we interrupt, you think?”�

 

She shook her head several times. “No. Let them be. They’re fine.”�

****

***~***

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**A/N: Yes… the Parents… *dramatic music*. Um. Not much to this chapter, I haven’t really changed all that much in the story, so yeah. Thanks to everyone who reviewed–and tonight’s ONE TREE HILL!! Unfortunately, my cable _just_ went out (dammit!) so I’ll have to watch it on a small, 4”�, black and white tv. Oh yeah. Who’s got connections?**

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**So, go watch One Tree Hill! Or review! Or do BOTH! I’ll love you more!!!**

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**Love,**

**Natali K. A.**


	4. Chapter Four

Song: “Remember When It Rained”� by Josh Groban (my baby!!)

 

**Chapter Four**

 

**By Natali**

( _Later that afternoon..._ )

 

“Well, Lily dear,”� Miriam said as she passed a bowl of steamed broccoli to her. “What type of trouble does James get into at school? His friends are as loyal as dogs, damn it. I believe you could give us some juicy lecture topics.”�

 

James’s eyes flew to Lily’s across the table. It was almost too good to pass up, she thought. Miriam and Charlie didn’t know all the things that James did. Naturally, that was because he didn’t always get caught.

She teased him. He looked so desperate. But she teased him nonetheless, pretending to think it over.

 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,”� she said finally, taking a bite of chicken. She looked again at James and smiled. “But he’s an angel at heart... Somewhere _deep_ inside him.”�

 

“Ah, you’re loyal too,”� Charlie said, a hint of approval in his voice. “Damn it all.”� He feigned anger. Charlie smiled the next instant and attacked his potatoes.

 

With a serene smiled, Lily turned her attention back to her lunch. “This is really good chicken, Miriam.”�

 

“I didn’t make it, dear,”� Miriam chuckled.

 

“Oh, I know. But do tell Cook, if I don’t see her before I leave, that she just might get a letter from me, annoying her to come and cook for me,”� Lily grinned.

 

An idea formed in Miriam’s head. “Why don’t you join us for dinner every once in awhile?”� With a quick glance at her husband, she continued.

 

“I’d like that very much,”� Lily decided. “If James agrees with it.”�

 

“Far be it from me to disturb female bonding,”� he shrugged.

 

“Isn’t this a happy family? I wish someone had told me James finally brought one of his hundreds of girlfriends home. I would have prepared a questionnaire, beginning with: ‘What the hell do you see in my brother?’”�

 

By now, everyone’s attention was on the twelve-year-old brunette standing in the doorway. Her blue eyes were smiling, and she was holding a small case in her right hand.

 

“Angelina,”� James growled, running to her and picking her up. “We have a guest, you brat.”�

 

His sister giggled. “I can still ask her that question. I have a few more like; ‘Why on earth would you want to touch _that_?’ That’s my favorite.”�

 

She was turned upside down so that her chin-length hair was standing on end.

 

Lily laughed, watching them. James walked toward her with his upside-down sister still in his arms.

 

“This, Lily, is Angie, that brat I told you about that goes to that fancy genius school,”� he muttered, tickling her.

 

“James!”� she laughed, turning red in the face.

 

“You’re going to hurt her,”� Charlie warned.

 

“I wish,”� James muttered, grinning at Lily. He looked down at his sister. “Now, say your how do you do’s and be off. I have a present for you waiting in your room.”�

 

“Really?”� Angie asked excitedly. “What is it, James?”� She looked at Lily, who she thought was quite pretty, even upside down. “Do you know?”�

 

Lily smiled and nodded. “You’ll like it,”� she promised.

 

Angie stuck out her arm. “How do you do, Lily? I hope your trip here was pleasant enough.”�

 

Lily laughed and accepted the hand. “I’m fine, thank you, Angie. My trip was fine. Did you have a nice day at school?”�

 

“No,”� the little girl frowned. “Because I still have to go back. Those nuns are crazy. I swear it. But never mind that. If you’ll excuse me, my brother likes to spoil me, and I have something awaiting me upstairs. James?”� She was set down on the floor. “I’ll be right back.”� She ran out of the room, squealing with anticipation.

 

“She’s so cute,”� Lily laughed.

 

Miriam nodded. She saw the look her son was giving her.

 

“If you’d like, you can go back out into the garden. The dessert isn’t quite ready yet. We’ll call you in when it is,”� Miriam lied. The dessert had been ready since this morning.

 

James looked at Lily, who shrugged. “All right.”�

 

Hand in hand, they went out to the kitchen and through the back door.

 

“Your sister is so adorable,”� Lily said after a short, comfortable silence. She looked up from her shoes and looked at him with a soft smile. “Thank you, James.”�

 

He stopped her and asked, “For what?”�

 

She shrugged, because she didn’t really know. “I’m not sure. I think for bringing me here, because I’ve had a wicked time. Your parents are a blast, and your sister’s the cutest.”�

 

“I didn’t make them that way, you know,”� he chuckled.

 

“I know. But I told you, I’m not sure what I’m thanking you for.”�

 

“Well, there _is_ one way you could show me how much you’re thankful for whatever it is you’re thankful for.”�

 

“Now _there’s_ the player I knew was somewhere in there.”� She laughed and planted a kiss on his lips. After he realized she wasn’t going to pull away anytime soon, he hugged her to him and gently parted her lips with his tongue. Her mouth was warm and soft, and the flesh behind her bottom lip held him captivated.

 

Lily ran her hands from his arms to his chest, where she slid down to find the end of his shirt. First one hand disappeared, heading up, then the other. Muscle upon muscle contracted at her touch, and her right hand–the higher one–find little curls of hair. Suddenly, she found it very arousing.

 

There was an odd sensation in her lower abdomen, and she felt her heart beat rapidly. His muscles rippled, and she smiled.

 

“You’re doing that on purpose,”� she accused him, lips resting on his own.

 

“Damn right,”� he admitted, kissing her again. “Oh, Lily.”� He kissed her hungrily.

 

She smiled under his lips and wrapped him in a hug. “What? You’ve never been kissed before?”�

 

“Not by you.”�

 

“Yes, you have.”�

 

“Well, I’m sure not used to it.”�

 

“I can fix that.”�

 

*~*

( _Present: At the inn with Lily and Jocelyn…_ )

“The way he was with his sister was so sweet, Jocelyn,”� Lily sighed, stirring her shake with a straw. “I mean, the git could’ve been cold with her for embarrassing him or making fun of him, but instead he grabbed her and played with her.”�

 

“Yes, James always was infatuated to no end with his sister,”� Jocelyn said, wincing when she realized her slip of the tongue. But Lily hadn’t noticed.

 

“And I was going to tell him, out there in that gorgeous garden, but we got...”� She laughed. “Side tracked I suppose.”�

 

“What you mean is that you had your tongue down his throat,”� Jocelyn chuckled. “Oh, dear, I remember being young.”�

 

“Jocelyn–do you think I’m being stupid? When my mates first found out, they said he was probably foxed or he didn’t deserve me. I ignored them and left the next day.”�

 

When Jocelyn saw the look on Lily’s face, her heart went out to her. She wanted to tell her very badly that James had been blackmailed. But Miriam had made her promise.

 

“Are you and his mum tight?”� Jocelyn asked, even though she already knew the answer. Miriam doted on her son’s fiancé. Or ex, rather.

 

Lily nodded, and tears sprang to her eyes. Her head immediately fell to the table.

 

“Oh! She’s so nice! And Charlie too!”� The tears came faster. “They’ve been so nice, and they’ve been like parents to me. I can’t expect them to keep seeing me. He’s their _son_! Not that they wouldn’t, but I can’t put them in that position.”�

 

Jocelyn rubbed her arm sympathetically. “Why don’t you go and visit them? I’m sure they won’t turn you away.”�

 

“Exactly!”� came Lily’s muffled exclamation. “I’ve got nowhere to go,”� she said more quietly. “My ex-guardians hate my guts, I won’t put my mates into the position where they have to choose between James or me, I won’t do that to his parents either, and I don’t have a home.”�

 

“Do you have money?”�

 

“Yes. But what’s the point of that if I don’t have a _home_?”� She raised her red, blotchy, tear-stained face and looked at the lady who’d been so kind to her. “A _home_.”�

 

“And your home is with James?”� Jocelyn asked softly, dreading the answer.

 

Lily was silent for a moment before answering. “Yes.”�

 

*~*

(-- _Outside of the inn..._ \--)

 

James sighed and ran his hand through his hair. What was he going to do? She looked bloody wicked, even with her hair looking like it hadn’t been brushed in days; even with her eyes red and swollen; even with a blotchy face that made her look tired and ragged; even when she looked so devastated.

 

He hated that fact.

 

He hated the people that did this.

 

He hated Penny.

 

But most of all, he hated himself. _He’d_ made her sob like that. _He’d_ broken her heart. If only she knew just how much he was hurting too.

 

He sighed once more and leaned against the wall. And Aunt Jocelyn, who wasn’t really his aunt. She was there, telling Lily God knows what.

 

“Damn you, Lils,”� he said aloud. “Damn you.”�

 

He didn’t really mean it. It was just the fact that it hurt to be around her, and know that he was the cause of her pain.

 

“Move on, Lils. Please, get over me. I can’t be with you again,”� he whispered. The wind greeted him gently. “I love you, too.”�

 

And for the first time since he was seven and had broken his arm, James cried. And as he did, he remembered...

*~*

(-- _Memories: The same night Lily met the Potters..._ \--)

 

James led her to the bottom step, and paused.

 

“There you are,”� he said softly. “Thanks for coming, Lily.”�

 

“Thanks for inviting me.”� She paused as she gathered courage for her next words. “It meant a lot, being the first girlfriend you ever took to meet your parents. I mean, I know you didn’t mean anything by it, but it was special nonetheless.”�

 

He gently placed his fingers beneath her chin and brought her face up to look at him. “Oh, no, Lils. You’ve misunderstood me completely.”�

 

“How so?”� she asked softly. It wasn’t fair that he could control her like that. Those eyes of his... She felt lost. The odd sensation in her belly returned.

 

He kissed first her eyes, then her nose, then her temple with light, feathery kisses. Finally, his lips found hers. “I totally meant something by it, Lils.”�

 

“James...?”�

 

Her voice had come out shaky, against her own will. She had tried to sound nonchalant.

 

He kissed her, desire and passion laced through every move.

 

“You know, I’ve never been much of the romantic, Lily,”� he said, delaying their kisses for a moment. “But you’re the very first woman that I haven’t had sex with after less than ten days. And the strange part is...”� He searched for his words. “I don’t really _want_ to. I mean, I do. Just it’s not all I’m after.”�

 

“And all this after seeing me in a bathing suit?”� Lily asked hugging him. “You’re a joke, James. By the by...”� She smiled sensually up at him. “I feel the same way.”�

 

“So, your main priority wasn’t to haul into your bed?”� he joked, kissing her forehead. “Lily?”�

 

She understood what he was asking.

 

“Yes, James,”� she replied quietly. “I’m a virgin.”�

 

He smiled into her hair, grateful she couldn’t see it.

 

“And, if you think that I’m easy–”�

 

“I told you, Lily,”� he interrupted her gently. “I’m not looking for that.”�

 

“You called me your girlfriend today,”� she smiled.

 

“Well, aren’t you?”�

 

She shrugged. “Apparently.”�

 

After another long, wet–and somewhat awkward–passionate kiss, Lily left him reluctantly and headed up the stairs.

 

James glanced at his watch. It read two o’clock in the morning. He smiled and practically ran up to his room.

 

*~*

(-- _Present..._ \--)

James sighed again and pushed away from the wall. He’d have a talk with Jocelyn. Maybe he _was_ doing this all wrong, just like his mum had told him.

 

He headed for Wrights’ Hall, where he hoped that he’d be well received. He wasn’t ready to confront Lily just yet. Or anyone, for that matter.

 

Later, as he sat at a desk in the room he’d been given, he took a sheet of paper and wrote a letter. He didn’t know why he did it, but he felt that he should

__

_Lily,_

_My love. I’m sorry. For all that it’s worth, I still love you. I can’t explain it. Lils, please, don’t hate me. I can see that you’re hurt, but I think I hurt even more. And being here doesn’t help much. But then, I’ve been everywhere with you, so I couldn’t get away if I tried. But I don’t want to._

__

_I want to see you. Could I? Please, Lils. You know I still love you. I always will. But this is for the best, my beautiful goddess--_

 

He paused, frowning at the paper. Since when was he such a lovesick idiot?

 

“I should become one of those wretched depressed poets,”� he muttered to himself, shoving the chair back with his knees and rising. He looked at the letter for a moment and smiled.

 

“Never would she believe I wrote that,”� he chuckled. “Not if my life depended on it.”� He headed for the dining room, where lunch was probably being served.

 

He resented it, but he knew there was no escaping her. For the past week, her green eyes and exquisite red hair had been haunting him.

 

And in the end, he knew what would happen. But he’d put up one hell of a fight first. It was her safety at stake. Perhaps if he held out long enough she wouldn’t even take him back when he finally caved in to his wants and told her everything.

 

James cringed. He didn’t want that. But she needed that.

 

Right?

 

*~*

 

**Well, there it is!! Thanks to all who reviewed and to those who shall review now.**

**Hint, there, FYI.**

**Um. I shall see you next Wednesday then, probably AFTER I’ve done my very first shift at the hospital *excited*!! I just cannot wait. At the moment, I’ve got a cold yet again, so yeah. And then cramps.**

**My health isn’t so hot at the moment.**

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**But it’s One Tree Hill tonight and the rerun of Related that I missed! So much love to my fellow OTH-ers. I’m listening to “What Child Is This?”� and am feeling quite Christmas-y. By Jessica Simpson, she really does sing it beautifully.**

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**Much love!**

****

**Natali K. A.**


	5. Chapter Five

Song: Two songs. “A Puro Dolor”� by Son by Four or “Alejate”� by Josh Groban. Both in Spanish. :-P Both very… *sigh*. Beautiful. From two different perspectives, of course. 

 

**Chapter Five**

 

**By Natali**

(-- _Memories..._ \--)

 

“Lils,”� Lynn said from her bed. She smiled wickedly at me. “What’s this? Getting back at two in the morning? From Potter’s parents’ house?”�

 

Lily scowled at Lynn. “Yes, I am just getting back. And for your bloody information, we had a wicked time, thank you.”�

 

“Ooh, Lils is on the defensive,”� Julie giggled. “Did you hear that, Angel?”�

 

“I heard,”� Angel said. “What, Lils? You’re afraid we’re gonna make fun of you?”�

 

“No, not Lils... She just wants us to ask her how comfortable Potter’s bed is,”� Lynn taunted. “So, how about, Lils? Is it worthy of Potter?”� She rolled onto her back and stared at Lily upside down. “Is _he_ worthy, if you catch my drift?”�

 

A sprinkle of giggles went throughout the dormitory. And Lily, despite the fact they were laughing at _her_ in a way, couldn’t resist a smile.

 

“Alright, you guys are funny,”� she admitted, “But just to be clear, I didn’t even step into his room.”�

 

“Ah, alas,”� Julie sighed. “You’ve disappointed me, Lils.”�

 

Lily laughed and began to undress. “His parents are so funny. And his little sister! Oh, they’re the cutest together. A real family, you know?”� Without realizing it, her voice had softened.

 

Lynn and Julie shared a look. It was silently agreed they would have a private chat with Lily some other time. There were some things that had to stay outside of the grapevine.

 

Angel though, was no idiot. “Oh my gosh, Lily. You really like him, don’t you? Potter the Player and Lily Evans... I would never have imagined it.”�

 

Lily slowly turned to look at her, a mysterious smile on her lips. “He’s different than what you all imagine him. He’s not at all bad.”�

 

Julie nodded. “Yeah, I agree, Lily. James isn’t at all what everyone thinks.”�

 

“He’s still a player though,”� Lynn said, giving Lily a hard look.

 

“Don’t worry. Somehow, I don’t think he’s in any rush to jeopardize this relationship...”� The dreamy look on her face sparked her friends’ interests.

 

After a few minutes of silence, Julie finally spoke up.

 

“Well, it seems to me that the last year of Hogwarts is going to be filled to the brim with guys, hormones, and N.E.W.T.s. Wonderful.”�

 

*~*

(- _Present..._ -)

“So there you go, Jocelyn,”� Lily said softly. “I’m going to skip a few months now.”�

 

Jocelyn looked at her thoughtfully. “You know, Lily, I think this is doing you some good. Go and take a break. There’s someone I need to talk to at this house a few miles away. I won’t be more than half an hour.”�

 

Lily, who knew more than Jocelyn thought she did, tried very hard not to smile. “Very well, Jocelyn. I’ll go write a letter to my friends so that they know that I’m not dead.”�

 

“You’re going to tell them where you are?”� Jocelyn asked hopefully.

 

“No.”�

 

Jocelyn deflated. “Alright. Go on then, and I’ll let you know when I get back. I won’t be more than an hour.”�

 

Lily nodded, rising from the table. “Thank you. For listening. I know you don’t have to.”� She walked towards her room.

 

“Oh, dear, I have to,”� Jocelyn muttered. She disapparated then, straight to Wrights’ Hall.

 

James heard a knock on his door. He looked up from the random spot on the wall he’d been staring at. “Come in.”� He didn’t really _want_ to have a visitor, but he could hardly be rude, considering that he was barely welcome.

 

But it wasn’t who he was expecting.

 

“Aunt Jocelyn!”� he said, shocked. “How...? Why...?”�

 

“I’ve known you since you were sucking your mum’s tit. Don’t give me that.”� Jocelyn strode into the room boldly and plopped down into a chair.

 

James scowled at her. Suddenly, the thoughts he’d been trying to ward off came rushing back; Lily’s possible pregnancy, the blackmailer, Penny, his mates...

 

“Jo, no offense, but I’m really no mood to talk to anyone just now,”� he muttered, twiddling his thumbs. “And I mean that.”�

 

Jocelyn shook her head. “You’re doing this wrong. I know you overheard Miriam and me talking. We’re still not sure. Have you even thought of her?”�

 

“Why the bloody hell do you think I’m here?”� he cried out. “Aunt Jo, I love you, but I really don’t need to hear what you’re going to tell me! ‘Cause everyone’s already told me, and I don’t want to hear it!”�

 

But Jocelyn only shook her head. “You’re confused. I’m the one who’s going to be doing the listening. Not you, my dear. So shoot. Tell me whatever you want. I’m here to hear you out, before judging you as an arse, which is the way you’re headed.”�

 

James stared at her for a second before sighing heavily. “Fine then. Lily Evans and I were engaged. I got around ten owls saying that if I didn’t sever my relationship with her, I’d pay dearly–with her life.”�

 

He looked down at the floor. “Somehow though, I don’t think it’s going to happen.”�

 

“What makes you say that?”� Jocelyn asked softly.

 

He looked up at her once more. “Because knowing that she’s here, that I can go to her, and kiss her, and marry her, is too big a temptation for me.”�

 

She couldn’t resist smiling. “So then go to her. She says she hates you, but the look in her eyes whenever she talks about you isn’t hate. It’s love. So go, tell her what happened. She’ll welcome you back with open arms.”�

 

James shook his head. “For her, I can’t.”�

 

(- _Back at the inn..._ -)

 

“Lils, come home, please,”� Lynn begged, tears in her eyes. “James isn’t here. He left somewhere, we don’t know where.”�

 

“His girlfriend is there,”� she said emotionlessly.

 

Julie began crying again. “Lils, please. Mate, come home. We’ll shove her out. We don’t like her anyway!”�

 

But Lily shook her head. “He’ll get home eventually. I’m staying here.”�

 

“Then where are you?”� Sirius asked. “We’ll go to you.”�

 

Again, Lily shook her head, red curls tickling her neck. “No. You’ll stay there, and I’ll stay here. I have business to attend to here. That’s why I can’t go home–I mean, there.”�

 

“It’s still your home, Lils,”� Lynn said softly. Julie, Sirius, and Remus nodded emphatically.

 

“It’s not,”� Lily argued. “I’m going to tell James what I need to tell him, then I’m going to go off and live in Ireland. Far, far away from him.”�

 

“He’s there?”� Remus asked suddenly, eyes narrowed.

 

Lily nodded. “Yes. He thinks I don’t know, too. But he’s kind of hard to miss. You tend to notice when someone who back-stabbed you is in your radius.”�

 

“Oh, Lily, if you could only see how totally miserable he is without you,”� Julie sighed.

 

“I don’t need to see. I feel it.”�

 

“Remember that first Christmas you had together?”� Lynn said suddenly. “Lils, please, beg him if you need to. _That first Christmas_ , Lils.”�

 

For a moment, Lily’s faÃ§ade fell away, and the pain she’d been experiencing for the last eight days crept into her face. It was only an instant, but it was enough so that her friends saw it.

 

When she spoke, her voice cracked.

 

“Please,”� Lily begged, closing her tears to fight off the tears. “Stop it. All of you. You’re not helping, at all.”�

 

And again, memories came rushing back, this one so painful that she broke down sobbing for her friends to see.

 

“I wish I could hug you, Lils,”� Lynn said, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Why won’t you let us comfort you? We’re your best mates?”�

 

“Because,”� Lily sobbed, covering her face with her hands. “Because you’re going to make me relive all these things that I don’t want to. I already am, but with someone who has absolutely no tie to me. I can’t, don’t you understand?”�

 

“You’re going to make yourself sick, Lils,”� Remus said softly. “At least stop crying.”�

 

“I _can’t_ ,”� she yelled, stepping away from the fire. “Bye, mates.”� She walked out of the room and headed down the hall, tears and memories clouding her vision...

(- _Memories..._ -)

 

Lily Evans stepped down the stairs into the common room, wrapping her emerald green parka around her. It was Christmas Day, and nearly everyone had left for the holidays, bar her closest friends.

 

And the Marauders.

 

She spotted James, sunken deep in an armchair, staring idly at the fire. A soft smile spread on her lips as she walked towards him. “Happy Christmas, James.”�

 

He jumped suddenly and smiled at her. “Likewise, Lily.”� He held out his hand to her. “I’d get up, but I’m so comfortable.”�

 

She laughed and sat down on his lap. “That’s too bad. I was hoping we could go on a sleigh ride. Dumbledore hired a bunch of them for today. And Christmas tea is at five or so, so we should get going.”�

 

James nodded absentmindedly. “That’s a pretty parka.”�

 

“You gave it to me, silly,”� Lily laughed, hugging him. “Oh, this is comfortable. Now I don’t want to get up either.”�

 

“We don’t have to,”� James said slowly, nuzzling her neck.

 

“But we should. It would be such a waste of a pretty day.”�

 

“I already have my pretty day right here,”� he said softly. Lily blushed and looked down.

 

“Oh, James,”� she whispered.

 

He placed a finger under her chin and tipped her head up, gazing into her eyes. “Your eyes are dancing again,”� he told her softly, a slight purr in his voice.

 

She smiled and kissed him quickly. “You might not be a player anymore, but you’re definitely a charmer, James.”�

 

He shrugged one shoulder. “It’s a gift.”� He gathered her up in his arms and pulled her to him so that he was cradling her almost like a baby.

 

“This would make for a most interesting scene if McGonagall walked in all of a sudden,”� Lily giggled. “Though it wouldn’t top the time she found us making out on the floor.”�

 

“The look on her face was priceless,”� James chuckled. “But it wasn’t our fault. The rest of the seats were taken. Besides, I think she kind of expects us to be doing _something_ we aren’t supposed to do.”�

 

“Like last week when we skipped her class to go into Hogsmeade,”� Lily said. “Who knew that she was going there afterwards?”�

 

“It’s natural for me to get caught.”�

 

“At least she was nice about it. Just gave us more homework.”�

 

“About a week’s worth.”�

 

“Well, at least it wasn’t a detention–or points docked from Gryffindor. We’re ahead of Slytherin and the rest by one hundred points last time I checked.”�

 

James nodded, eyeing the parka again. “You know, I have another present for you, Lils.”� His eyes slid to her pink lips before reaching her eyes.

 

“No,”� she sighed. “You’re going to spoil me rotten, James.”�

 

He nodded. “As long as you’re mine, you can be as spoiled as you’d like, Lils.”� He kissed her temple and reached over her to pick up a box Lily hadn’t noticed before on the table. He handed it to her. “ _This_ is your real Christmas gift, Lils.”�

 

She couldn’t suppress her smile, couldn’t drown the bubble of happiness that had welled up in her, couldn’t squash the love she had for him, couldn’t _not_ want to be with him. Forever.

 

Lily opened the little box and stared at its contents. James reached in and pulled out the present, a present so very beautiful that she felt breathless. Indeed, she was breathing so rapidly, and her pulse was so quick, she _was_ breathless.

 

“James,”� she whispered, staring lovingly at the exquisite white gold chain necklace with her name dangling from it.

 

He began to place it around her neck, and she was helpless to stop him.

 

“One day, Lily, one day,”� he whispered in her ear. “I’ll see you with nothing but this necklace on, and then I’ll be the happiest man alive. But I’m going to wait, because you’re worth waiting for.”�

 

For a moment, Lily didn’t register what he said. And then it sunk in.

 

She shook her head, trying to gather her wits. “No,”� she said hoarsely.

 

“What?”� James asked, alarmed. It felt like his heart had just fallen to the pit of his stomach. “No?”�

 

“Wait, that’s not what I meant. I-I can’t think. Wait.”� She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, getting up. She extended her hand and he took it. “I meant no, you won’t be waiting.”�

 

He looked at her, then scowled. “Lily, I didn’t say that so you would shag me.”�

 

“I know that,”� she smiled. “But come anyway. Unless you don’t want to.”�

 

Inside, he was fighting a battle. His instincts told him to go for it, that she was asking him to. But something at the back of his mind, his conscience probably, said not to, that he shouldn’t.

 

Lily waited for him to answer. She _wasn’t_ going to sleep with him because he’d given her a present, no matter how utterly gorgeous it was. She loved him, and at that moment, she wanted to express that to him.

 

Finally, he looked up at her. “All right. But I still have doubts. I think your motives for this are all wrong.”� He stood and hugged her, kissing her forehead.

 

She sighed contentedly, and looked up at him. “Come here, I have a secret for you.”� When her lips were next to his ear, she whispered, “I love you. Is that motive wrong, James?”�

 

It was stupid, but suddenly he swelled with something inside. James smiled and shook his head. “No, I guess your motives were right then.”�

 

“Good,”� she replied softly. “Because I wouldn’t want you to think that I was going to make love to you because you’ve spoiled me today. For that I’d go out with Robert Jenkins.”�

 

He chuckled and his lips found hers.

 

A few minutes later, they were in his dormitory, and James was, as he’d predicted, the happiest man alive.

 

*~*

(- _Present..._ -)

“Why am I here?”� Lily asked herself suddenly. She’d gone once again to the place where he’d taken her that first date so many dates ago. She looked about her, at the late afternoon sun. “I’m not supposed to be here.”�

 

She narrowed her eyes in the direction of Wrights’ Hall. _Go there, Lily_ , one part of her said. _Talk to him. You know he’s hurting just as much as you are_.

 

“I can’t,”� she said aloud.

__

_That’s right_ , said another part of her. _He thought he could do everything on his own. And look what he did to you: ripped out your heart and threw it away without a second thought._

 

The other part flared with anger. _Not true. He thought about it a lot! Go, Lily. He wants you to._

_If he really did, he would’ve told you_ , argued the other part.

 

“It’s so like me to not be able to make up my mind,”� Lily sighed, tears clouding her vision again. “No. I will _not_ go to him. I will _not_ beg him to take me back. I will _not_ deign to see him.”�

 

With that, half of her was happy.

 

The other half was so hurt, it wanted to die.

 

“So be it,”� Lily whispered into the wind. She headed back in the direction of the wind to leave Jocelyn a note. And then she’d go away. She could live. And she would.

 

(- _Wrights’ Hall..._ -)

 

Suddenly, half way through his story, James jumped up and looked out the window.

 

“She’s gone.”�

 

“What?”� Jocelyn said alarmingly. “She’s what?”�

 

“She’s gone,”� he repeated. “She left. I can feel it. Go back to the inn. You’ll see I’m right.”�

****

***~***

****

**A/N: Not really much to say. I think. Um, happy Thanksgiving!! But yeah. That’s really about it. And… that I had my first day as a volunteer today! Too fun!**

****

**Otherwise. Later sweeties.**

****

**Oh yeah. Review.**

****

**Natali K. A.**


	6. Chapter Six

Song: “Unreachable”� by Ashlee Simpson

 

**Chapter Six**

 

**By Natali K. A.**

 

Lynn peeked out the window. There was a terrible storm outside, and it killed her to know that Lily was somewhere out there, even if she wasn’t in the midst of this storm. She turned back to the other people in the living room–Julie, Remus, Sirius, and _Penny_.

 

Penny bit her nails worriedly. “Oh, what if my James gets hurt?”�

 

Sirius’s jaw visibly tensed. Remus clenched his fists. Lynn closed her eyes.

 

Julie almost hit Penny.

 

“Let’s get one thing straight, if nothing else, Penny,”� she bit out, becoming red in the face. Penny stared at her with wide blue eyes. “James is not _yours_. He is _Lily’s_. Deal. With. It.”�

 

Penny went from shocked to impassive to infuriated in three seconds.

 

“How dare you?”� she gasped, standing up so that she was now level with Julie. “He is _my_ bloody boyfriend, not this damned Lily character you lot keep talking about. It’s revolting, you know? Some friends, if you ask me.”�

 

“We didn’t,”� Lynn muttered.

 

Penny glared at her. “And furthermore, Lily must have done _something_ stupid, because James doesn’t even like talking about her! So get out of my house!”�

 

Remus, noting the look Julie had written all over her face, stepped forward to intercede–he didn’t make it.

 

Julie slapped Penny so hard that she fell back against the couch, hand to her cheek.

 

“You hit me!”�

 

“No shit, Sherlock,”� Julie yelled. “ _Your_ house? You think this is _your_ bloody house?”�

 

“It is,”� Penny insisted. “James told me that it’s his name on the papers. He said he just let you lot live here. So yeah, it’s my house.”�

 

“Oh, ‘cause you’re going to marry James, then?”� Lynn chirped from the corner. She swung her tall frame and bore holes through Penny with hazel eyes. “Get out, bitch. I mean it. Get out.”�

 

When Penny refused to move, Julie looked at Sirius and Remus, who shook their heads. She gave them the finger then took out her wand. “Ready, mate?”� she said to Lynn.

 

Lynn, with her wand already out, nodded. “Ready.”�

 

After they’d thrown her out the door, into the pouring rain with nothing but her purse and the clothes on her back, Julie called to her.

 

“If you’d ever seen Lils and James together, even _you_ , lowlife that you are, would recognize what they have is special.”�

 

“But I don’t have any bloody clothes!”� Penny shrieked. “And I’m getting soaked to the bone! James won’t like this!”�

 

But Lynn and Julie, now accompanied by Sirius and Remus, only smiled and waved her off.

 

“You shouldn’t have down that.”�

 

The four of them whirled around to find Lily sitting on their couch, playing with an end of her hair. The first thing that came to their minds was that she looked just as bad as she had in the fire. Maybe worse.

 

“ _Lils!_ ”� Lynn and Julie cried, running forward.

 

“Lily!”�

 

“Lily, you’re back!”�

 

They crowded around her, all trying to hug her, when she pushed them away gently.

 

“I’m still leaving.”�

 

“Lils, how can you _do_ this?”� Lynn said, breaking into spontaneous tears. “He still _loves_ you!”�

 

Lily nodded. “I know that,”� she said softly. “And it means a lot.”�

 

“So why are you doing this?”� Remus asked.

 

“Because.”�

 

“That’s it? _Because_?”� Julie asked angrily.

 

“Julie’s right. Why are you going to leave?”� Sirius added.

 

Lily looked at each one slowly before answering. “Because.”�

 

“But why?”� said a voice from behind them. They all turned. James kept talking, taking a few steps closer. “Hello, Lily,”� he said softly. Immediately, all the resolve he’d had about keeping her safe vanished. She was too beautiful.

 

For a moment, Lily began to tear up. Then she regained her composure, grateful for the nice swig of whiskey she’d drunk before returning to her old house. She smiled falsely and met his eye. “Hi, James.”�

 

The others stood still, awaiting the moment that their friends would run into each other’s arms and kiss.

 

“You knew I was there,”� James said, just as softly as before.

 

“I did,”� Lily admitted. “Long ago we created a connection. I know when you’re near me. Besides the fact I saw you in the window.”�

 

“Why didn’t you come to talk to me?”�

 

“I thought we had finished talking. And I was tired of begging.”� She shrugged, then added, “No, I was too _hurt_ to beg anymore.”�

 

“Lils, I still love you.”�

 

She paused, and this time, her eyes did well up with tears. “And that, James, is all I need to know.”� She rose and collected her traveling bag. “I just came back because I felt I’d been so rude to you guys, and you’re my best mates. Thank you. Keep in touch.”�

 

She walked out the door. James stared at her, then at the downpour that was going on.

 

He went after her.

 

“Lily!”� he called after her, already soaked to the skin. “Why are you doing this?”� When she didn’t stop, he ran to her side. “Lils.”� He grabbed her arm and she stopped. “Why?”�

 

“Let go of me, James,”� she said softly. He did so reluctantly. With a heavy sigh, Lily looked up at him. “James, I know you love me. I love you, too. And I never want you to forget that.”� She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

 

She walked away, leaving him bewildered to high heavens.

 

“Lils, remember that day three years ago? One so like this one?”� he asked as she walked away.

 

The wind was knocked out of her, and she stopped walking. “Yes,”� she whispered, closing her eyes. It was just like today, only colder. And they were younger. They were more naÃ¯ve. But… they were still in love. Very in love. 

 

How could she have forgotten that day? She had been lying to Jocelyn, in a sense, when she said they’d never fought. But then, they’d never really fought then either. And especially with the way _that_ day ended…

 

James hadn’t heard her, but he knew she remembered. He continued, hoping that he’d touch a soft spot, and send her running back into his arms, where he would kiss her silly and beg for her forgiveness. “I was an arse then, Lily. And I’m still an arse now. But you forgave me then. Why not now?”�

 

Lily’s tears came faster, and they mingled with the raindrops that fell from the English sky. Tangy mixed with sweet in her mouth, and for some reason, it numbed her through and through–an effect she was somewhat grateful for.

 

Why was he making it so difficult? She’d accepted it. Why couldn’t he?! Wasn’t _he_ the one that’d broken it off? Hadn’t they been the happiest couple on earth until last week? So why was he making an already painful thing unbearable?

 

What really hurt her was that he still didn’t trust her. After all this, he _still_ wouldn’t tell her. That–and only that–is what kept her from turning and running straight to him.

 

She took a deep breath and headed for the bus stop.

*~*

 

(- _Memories…_ -)

Lily pushed open the door to the Seventh Year Boys’ dormitory and took a bold step in. It was filthy. But besides that, she had some business to attend to here.

 

“Where is James?”� she snapped, crossing her arms and staring down Sirius and Remus.

 

Sirius and Remus shared a look.

 

“We don’t know,”� Sirius said in a voice that was higher than usual. Remus shrugged.

 

Lily closed her eyes. “Well, you better think of something,”� she growled. “Something that will prove Muffy Hunsdorfer wrong. Would you like to know what Muffy said?”� Lily continued, not waiting for an answer. “She told me that James is currently out in that storm, preparing a prank for McGonagall. Now, would either of you like to tell me otherwise?”�

 

Neither said anything.

 

With a groan of frustration, Lily headed out of the room, in the direction of the grounds.

 

By the time she’d found James–and Peter, who he’d roped into helping him–she was wet through to the bone, freezing, and very bitchy.

 

“James Potter!”� she bellowed. James snapped his head up at her voice and smiled, unaware of what was about to happen to him.

 

“Lily! Come on over here. I’ll show you my newest concoction.”� He gestured to the array of odds and ends around him. “Now, I’m planning to take this here pipe–”�

 

“Peter,”� Lily interrupted, rounding on the ugly, mouse-like boy who was cowering a bit of ways away from her. “Could you go inside? I need to speak to James.”� He practically ran inside.

 

James, sensing an argument, scowled. “What’s the matter, Lily?”� he asked warily, taking out his wand to collect his stuff.

 

“You’re setting up a prank in the middle of a rainy, cold May Saturday, a month before you graduate. _Are you out of your bloody mind, James_?”� she shrieked. “Why the hell are you setting up a prank–for McGonagall, no less! —when you could be risking expulsion?! You need to leave these childish notions behind.”�

 

“Childish notions, eh?”�

 

“Yes.”�

 

“You know what, Lily?”�

 

“What?”�

 

“Shove it.”�

 

Her jaw dropped. She looked at him as he continued to gather his things. “What did you say to me?”�

 

“I said, shove it.”� He looked up at her briefly.

 

“You’re pushing it, Potter,”� she said in a low, dangerous voice. “Really pushing it.”�

 

“Well, so are you,”� he told her smoothly. “Pranks and me are a package deal, Lily.”�

 

“You’re going to get expelled if you do it.”�

 

“If I haven’t already gotten expelled, why would they do it now?”� he asked. “Come on. You’re going to catch a cold.”�

 

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me why you felt the urge to pull a prank.”� Lily crossed her arms over her chest and waited, trying to ignore just how wet she felt–and was.

 

“Then you’re going to be there for a long time, Lily,”� James laughed, trudging up to the castle.

 

“James! Come back here.”�

 

“Hmm, how about no?”�

 

“James, don’t be an arse! I’m wet, and I came looking for you. The least you can do is give me an explanation.”�

 

“Don’t bet on it. Now come inside before you catch pneumonia.”�

 

 “I’m not finished.”�

 

“Well, I am.”� He turned and headed for the great oak doors that harbored warmth and dryness. His jaw was clenched, and he was fighting the urge not to kick something. It’d been very tense with Lily for the past couple months, and he really didn’t need a mother breathing down his neck. 

 

“James, come back here!”� Lily hollered after him. She whipped out her wand and knocked the stuff he’d shoved into a box up into the air, letting it fall all over the place.

 

He whirled around and headed back for her. “What, Lily? _What_ , goddamn it?”� He stood toe to toe with her and asked again, “What?”�

 

“Several things. One, you’re an arse. Two, you’re an idiot for doing this in near freezing temperatures. Three, you treat me like shit, and I’m tired of pretending you don’t. Ever since I spread my legs for you on Christmas Day, you’ve shoved me to the side.”� She fought to control the emotion that had been rolling in her for the past five or so months, but a tear slipped out anyway. “You haven’t taken me out, you barely talk to me, and you take me for granted, James,”� she said, choking down a sob.

 

“No, I don’t,”� James said, even though he knew it was true.

 

“The hell you don’t,”� she said, wiping away the droplets of water that mingled with the ones already on her cheeks. She choked down a sob. “I don’t know whether you got tired of me because the chase is over, or if you just don’t know how to break it off, or if you just want me on the side, but I won’t do it anymore.”� She took a deep breath, which somehow came out in a sob, and finished her speech. “But whatever the bloody problem, James, you’ve gotten your wish. I’m done with this.”�

 

She turned on her heel and made to go for the castle, but James held her back. He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head. Despite the fact that she very nearly hated him right now, she let herself be comforted, and poured out all the pain she’d been experiencing since January onto James’s shirt.

 

“I was– _am_ –afraid, Lily,”� he whispered into her ear. “I’ve never felt this way before.”�

 

“Oh, high and mighty James ‘The Player’ Potter afraid? Of what, being nice to his girlfriend? He’s never felt like what before? Could it be _horny_? No, he’s definitely been horny before. What about he feels like being a jackass? No, he’s been that before too.”� She said all this into his T-shirt, and James was partly glad he couldn’t make out exactly what she was saying.

 

“Ok, I deserved that,”� he sighed.

 

“No, if you really want me to give you what you deserve, I’ll require a cork remover, two bricks, a pair of tweezers, and twenty hours to torture you beyond belief.”�

 

Even though the situation wasn’t the best it could be, James laughed and said, “That’s my Lily.”�

 

She pushed herself away from him. “I am _not_ your Lily. I am my own person, and _no one else’s_!”�

 

He smiled anyway, and took her back into his arms. “I’m sorry.”�

 

“I’m still breaking up with you.”�

 

“No, you’re not,”� he argued softly, tipping her chin up.

 

“Oh, _really_?”�

 

“Yes, really.”�

 

“And pray, why would that be?”�

 

“Because, my Lily-Flower–”�

 

“I am _not_ your–”�

 

He shut her lips together with his forefinger and thumb, then leaned his forehead against hers. “Because… I love you, my Lily-Flower.”� When she didn’t say anything (partly because she didn’t think she’d heard him right), he said, “And I’m Potter the Player–or was, at least. I told you, I’ve never felt this way before, and I wasn’t too willing to give up my bachelor-hood for good.

 

“Now, you might be wondering why I am now,”� he continued, in what was a slightly business-like tone–and in a sense, this _was_ business– “You happened to threaten me with taking away the only thing that I seem to care about lately… you. And that’s the only thing that could ever make me willing to throw away the title of ‘The Player’. I love you, Lily Evans–and don’t you ever forget it.”�

 

Lily, whose head was swimming with the words that had just flowed from his lips, struggled to keep her balance. She’d told him Christmas Day she loved him–mind you, that had been more of an inkling of true love, more near to puppy love. Their distance, purely at the fault of James, hadn’t helped matters. (But some things are just meant to be, aren’t they?)

 

Losing her virginity to him had changed it all, because James had discovered that sex _didn’t_ matter to him when he was with her (something that would have been a shock to everyone, parents included–or should that be parents _especially_?). What had mattered to him was the fact that she loved him–albeit a young, puppy love; he’d known that, but she was the first woman who had loved him for who he was, and not who everyone thought he was.

 

He’d pushed her away for five months. She reminded herself of that, but somehow, she didn’t really think it mattered. Her parents had fought, at least from what she remembered of them. But they still loved each other. Fights were inevitable. 

 

_Remember the way he hurt you, Lily_ , said a little voice in her head.

 

_Yes, but look at how he’s compensating for it now_ , said another. _Look at him, Lily_. She did, and in his eyes was etched all the love one could ever feel another, a love that could only grow with time, one that could never diminish. _Look at how he’s holding you. Look at_ you _. Look how he makes_ you _feel._

 

And it was enough. If nothing else, it was enough.

 

“What do you mean?”� she asked finally. _Great. Nice one, Lils. All that time thinking, and_ that _was the best you could come up with? Loser!_ both of the voices in her head berated her.

 

“I mean exactly what I said,”� he replied, brushing his lips over hers.

 

A shiver of excitement went through her. It wasn’t fair that he could control her like this. But then again, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

“Oh, James,”� she sighed happily, wrapping her arms around his neck. “It’s freezing, I’m wet, and I don’t care,”� she laughed, kissing him. “Say it again,”� she begged.

 

“I love you,”� he obliged. He was given a kiss, which prompted another “I love you”�. After yet another longer, much wetter kiss, he said, “I love–”�

 

“All right, I get the picture. You love me, I love you, you love my kisses. But would it be too much to ask if we made out inside, somewhere warm?”� Lily giggled.

 

“We can’t do anything out here,”� James agreed, looking around. Suddenly, he narrowed his eyes at her. “Hey! Are you daft? What the hell are you still doing here? You’re going to catch a cold Lily! An inflammation of the lungs! Pneumonia! Bronchi–”�

 

“So on top of liking my kisses, you’re also a hypochondriac,”� Lily sighed as she took his hand and headed for the doors. “No, this won’t do. I can hardly have you running around like an idiot every time someone gets hurt.”�

 

“What are you talking about, woman?”� he asked.

 

She shook her head, smiling. “Never mind, James.”�

 

As they headed for the Gryffindor common room, Lily thought…

 

_Some things just can’t be helped_. She sneaked a look at the man beside her. _Loving that idiot Potter is one of them_.

*~*

 

(- _Present…_ -)

Lily, standing at the bus stop where she would catch the number 8 and try to figure out what way she would go. She sat on the green bench, thinking of that time that had been so perfect.

 

The tears, which hadn’t stopped falling, came stronger still, and now she truly couldn’t see. She would do it. She would make it just fine. But she’d never forget her James, and he’d always be her James… Always.

 

“Lily, dear. May I sit down?”�

 

Lily nodded and made room for Jocelyn. “How’d you know I was here?”�

 

“I’m not stupid.”�

 

“Ah, good point.”� Lily looked at her. “Jocelyn, thank you, I’m eternally grateful, but _I’m going to move on_. I don’t want Miriam or James or anybody following me. I think I’m going to my cousin.”�

 

“Lily, I won’t tell Miriam, or anyone else, for that matter,”� Jocelyn sighed, pushing back the hood of her raincoat. “But you, dear, need someone to vent to. And I, love, need someone period. So, might I come? And you have my word that I won’t even _talk_ to Miriam.”�

 

Lily didn’t even hesitate.

 

“Yes.”� She hugged Jocelyn, who would have to be her mother figure in place of Miriam. “But, you can talk to Miriam. Just don’t tell her you know where I am or that you’ve talked to me.”� After a moment, she added, “I still want to know what James is up to.”�

 

Jocelyn laughed. “Of course.”�

*~*

 

(- _In front of the house the six mates had shared for over two years…_ -)

Tears mixed with rain on James’s face. How long had it been since he’d cried?

 

_One week_ , a bitter voice in his head reminded him.

 

“I know that, you bastard,”� James snapped at the voice, which sounded oddly like Remus. “I don’t need to be fucking reminded.”�

 

Another voice, which sounded much like Sirius, said, _Go after her! And then get a sandwich, ‘cause I’m hungry_.

 

“Fuck it,”� James laughed humorlessly. “They’re in my head now!”�

 

He turned and went inside, ready for the attack of questions he would receive from his friends.

****

***~***

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**A/N: Day late? MOST DEFINITELY! But, as I was extremely tired after my volunteer shift, I didn’t post. Actually, I was going to add a little part here, at the beginning, in relation to the previous chapter, but… Yeah. I’ve got loads of stuff to do tonight and not enough night to finish it. No one actually cares what, so yeah.**

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**Um… Review? Yes, of course. You all love me, and that’s why you’ll do it!**

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**I really liked the memory in this chapter. Dunno why. I think it’s somewhat stupid and pointless, but a nice thought nonetheless, nope? Yes. Alright.**

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**Much love,**

**Natali K. A.**


	7. Chapter Seven

Song: “Loving Me For Me”� by Christina Aguilera

**Chapter Seven**

 

(- ** _Twelve months later, in Dublin, Ireland_ …**-)

 

“Lily?”� 

 

Jocelyn threw the keys to their flat onto the hall table and shrugged off her coat. “Lily?”� she repeated. “Are you in here?”�

 

“Yeah, Jo,”� Lily smiled, coming into the room with a wooden spoon. “Here, try this.”� She spooned the white substance into Jocelyn’s mouth. “What do you think of it? I made it from scratch.”�

 

“What is it?”� Jocelyn asked, looking through the mail. “It’s wicked, Lily.”�

 

“Thank you,”� Lily blushed. “It’s something Indian. I’m not sure what.”� She laughed. “You see, when I copied down the recipe, I forgot to ask my cousin for the name!”�

 

Jocelyn laughed. “Does it go by itself like that, though?”�

 

“No,”� Lily yelled from the other room. “It goes on top of chicken, but I’m thinking of adding pasta to it. What do you say?”�

 

“Sounds good.”� Jocelyn walked into their kitchen. “How did the conversation with Julie and Lynn go this morning?”� she asked softly. It’d only been a few months since Lily had contacted her old friends. “I had to leave. Miriam was expecting me, and she was threatening to come here.”�

 

“It went fine,”� Lily smiled. “I think we’re finally on the right track. I’m thinking about visiting them in London next week.”�

 

“Jolly good,”� Jocelyn cried out. She grabbed a piece of cheese from the fridge and sat at the kitchen counter. “How about a story, Lily? Are you up to it?”�

 

Lily smiled at her. “Alright,”� she sighed exaggeratedly. “Happy or sad or romantic?”�

 

“Whatever you’re in the mood for,”� Jocelyn shrugged.

 

“Ok.”� Lily sensed something stir in her chest. She couldn’t really put her finger on it. Randomly, she walked to the window of their second story city flat–a very expensive flat. She pushed aside the curtain, thinking of which story to tell her. Jocelyn had probably heard them all by now, but she didn’t mind hearing them more than once. Over the course of the year they’d been together, Lily had discovered that Jocelyn was really a silly romantic at heart.

 

Just as she had been about to start a story, she spotted a man with jet-black hair, and even though she couldn’t see them, gorgeous hazel eyes. A man that still wore those glasses that made him look so smart. A man that had no reason being in Ireland. 

 

_James Potter. Her James. In_ _Ireland_.

 

But who had told him? Had anyone even told him? She glanced at Jocelyn, waiting patiently as she nibbled on the cheese. No, not Jocelyn. Lily trusted her. Her mates at home? They only knew she was in Ireland, not _where_.

 

Then… he wasn’t there for her. He couldn’t have been.

 

Suddenly, her eyes met with his. And to her horror, he acknowledged who she was. She let the curtain fall, hiding her from view. She had felt his presence. She was sure of it. And he’d felt hers.

 

“Lily?”� Jocelyn asked worriedly. “Are you ok? You seem a bit pale.”�

 

“Yes. Yes, I’m fine.”� Lily turned quickly and walked to the table. “Well, I guess I’ll tell you about the time we bought the house… Is that alright?”�

 

Jocelyn nodded.

 

“Alright, I’ll tell you then,”� Lily said, forcing a smile. “First though, let me go to the loo…”�

 

Jocelyn laughed as she ran to the bathroom.

 

*~*

 

 (- _In the streets of_ _Dublin_ _…_ -)

 

“Bloody hell, Sirius!”� James exclaimed. “Lily’s up there!”�

 

Sirius looked at him as if he’d just sprouted another pair of eyes. “Mate, I promise you, you’re hallucinating. Lily’s not up there.”�

 

“I just saw her! She was looking at me, mate!”� James insisted, grabbing his friend’s sleeve. “That was _her_! I’m not seeing things, I swear it!”�

 

“I think you’ve had too much to drink, James,”� Remus said, joining them from the bookshop he’d just come from. “Lily’s not here.”�

 

“Yes, she is!”� James argued. He sighed. “But it doesn’t matter.”� Suddenly, he felt extremely depressed. “Come on, we have to get to that office building quickly.”�

 

As they walked to where their appointment was being held, James’s mind was reeling. Lily had only contacted him once since the last time he’d seen her a year ago. A note had arrived about two or so months after that fateful, rainy day. A few words were scribbled on it… 

 

_Miscarriage. It was a  boy. —Lily_

 

It had come by owl, and he had no way of knowing where she was. The fact that his son had died, the only son he’d ever have with Lily, had nearly killed him. But yet, there he was, walking the streets of Dublin on a strangely sunny day.

 

He hated the sun. It made the world look happy. And he wasn’t happy, not truly.

 

Then last week, Lynn had accidentally let slip they’d talked to Lily. But he couldn’t get anything out of them. But they’d promised him they didn’t even really know _where_ she was.

 

As they turned to go into a peach colored building, James promised to go back and see if that had been Lily. He wouldn’t say anything to her, but he wanted to know if it was her… and if she had a boyfriend.

 

*~*

 

(- _Back at the flat…_ -)

 

“Ok,”� Lily said, sitting at the table once more. She tried to push the thought of James out of her mind. It hadn’t been him. It couldn’t have been. “It was about two weeks after we’d graduated from Hogwarts, and we’d all been living with our parents, or, in my case, Lynn’s parents’ house…”�

 

*~*

 

(- _Memories…_ )

 

“James!”� Lily called as she stepped into the Potter residence. “James! Come here! Look what I found!”�

 

“Hi, Lily,”� Angie said from the couch in the sitting room. “James is in his room, Mum and Dad aren’t here. Go on up.”�

 

“Thanks, Angie,”� Lily said, stopping by the couch to give Angie a kiss on the forehead. “What are you reading?”�

 

Angie blushed. “One of Mum’s silly little romance books. Don’t tell her, because she thinks I’m too young for them.”�

 

Lily eyed the picture of a man and woman lying in a bed half-naked on the back. “I agree,”� she muttered. “But don’t worry. She won’t hear it from me.”�

 

“Thanks, Lily,”� Angie grinned. “You’re the best.”�

 

“I’ll bet,”� Lily laughed. “Oh, here, I brought you one of those peppermint things you like.”� She tossed a stick of candy to Angie and headed up the stairs to James’s room.

 

She pushed open the door to his room, or his _lair_ as she liked to call it. Immediately, she was caught up in strong arms and pulled against a cage of pure muscle and bone.

 

Sexy.

 

Lily giggled into their kiss, where James had trapped her while closing the door. “James, your sister’s downstairs!”�

 

“So? We’ll be quiet about it,”� James answered, kissing her hungrily. “We haven’t had time alone in months.”�

 

“James, when are we ever quiet?”�

 

“Ah, point taken. Well, we’ll put the music up.”�

 

“It’s wrong!”�

 

“But it feels _so_ right,”� he purred into her ear, and for a moment, she almost agreed.

 

“You horny little bastard.”�

 

James through his head back and laughed. “Alright, never mind that then. What’d you have to show me?”� He let Lily go so that she could pull something out of her jeans’ pocket.

 

“Look at that,”� she beamed, handing him a color picture of a two story townhouse in one of the London suburbs. “It’s huge. Five bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms… It’s got a decent sized backyard, and it’s not too shabby looking. A coat of paint, a little refurbishing–”�

 

“I’ll buy it,”� James said softly, pulling her into a tender kiss.

 

“W-What?”� Lily stuttered. “I thought we could _all_ chip in… Remus, Julie, Lynn, Sirius… Us, of course.”�

 

But James shook his head. “No, I’ll buy it. And then, when we decide to fill up the house with little Potters…”�

 

Lily blushed. “ _James_!”�

 

“But it’s true,”� James insisted softly. “As soon as I’ve managed to convince you to be my wife and we get little Potters on the way, we’ll kick out those sacks of bones we call friends.”� He nuzzled her neck. “Why not? Do you like it, Lils?”�

 

“Yes,”� she admitted.

 

“Then I’ll buy it for you.”�

 

“But you don’t even know how much it costs!”�

 

He shrugged. “As long as you’re happy…”�

 

“Because as long as I’m happy, _you’re_ happy, right?”� Lily laughed. He nodded.

 

“More chances of getting some.”�

 

She swatted at his arm, but let him dive in for another sweet kiss. About two minutes later, a knock came at the door.

 

“Damn it, Angie! Go away,”� James growled. “We’re busy.”�

 

“James, it’s me,”� Miriam said from the other side. Immediately, James through open the door for his mother and smiled innocently. 

 

“Mum! Hello, there! We were just discussing the new house I bought,”� James said unblushingly. “I haven’t seen it, but I hear it’s got five bedrooms and three and a half baths.”�

 

“A house?”� Miriam asked. She turned to Lily. “Is he serious, or is that his pathetic cover up for the fact that you two were doing something up here?”�

 

Lily laughed. “No, he’s serious. Unfortunately.”� She gave James a skeptical glance. “Seems he’s going to buy me a house…”�

 

“Us,”� James corrected. Lily blushed. Miriam beamed.

 

“Ah, well then. I’ll just go then, and you two can, um, clear it all up,”� Miriam said, heading back out the door. “I just wanted to say hello, Lily. Will you be staying for dinner?”�

 

“Yes.”�

 

“Wonderful. I’ll let Cook know.”�

 

“And tell Cook that we’ll be late,”� James yelled after her. “We’re going to see my new house!”�

 

(- _Later…_ -)

 

“You _what_?”� Lynn asked, breaking her lips away from Sirius. “You _what_?”� she repeated, her voice two notches higher.

 

“We bought a house,”� James said, digging into his steak. All six of them had met up at their favorite restaurant in Plymouth.

 

“Well, James bought a house,”� Lily added, stealing one of his fries. “I just showed it to him.”�

 

“No, we did,”� he argued, frowning at the fry she had taken. “I was gonna eat that.”�

 

She rolled her eyes. “He’ll buy me a house, but I can’t touch his food,”� she muttered under her breath.

 

“Are you serious?”� Julie gawked.

 

“You _bought a house_?”� Remus said, still not quite grasping it. “To live in?”�

 

“No, to burn,”� James told him sarcastically. “Of course to live in. And we’re inviting you lot to move in with us. We need some people to chip in with groceries, you see.”�

 

Lynn turned to Lily. “You mean… We could move _out_ of my parents’ house? For good? _Ever_? I’m there!”�

 

Sirius eyed Lynn out of the corner of his eye, _trying_ to appear inconspicuous and not quite succeeded. “How are the rooms going to be split up?”�

 

“Well…”� Lily looked down at her fingers. “Each of you would have your own rooms, and me and James would share.”�

 

A chorus of “Whoo”� went throughout the table.

 

“Oh, shove it,”� James laughed.

 

“So we each have our own rooms, huh?”� Sirius mused. “As long as I get the one next to Lynn, and we share a bathroom, I’m there too.”�

 

Julie sighed. “Mum’s throwing me out anyway. Something about me growing up and her being tired of odd little noises from my bedroom…”� She giggled and looked at Remus. “How about it, babe? You in?”�

 

Remus smiled slowly. “Alright. Where do we sign?”�

 

*~*

 

(- _Present…_ -)

 

Lily wiped off the top of the counter, smiling softly to herself. He’d bought that house for her, swearing they’d fill it up one day with kids of their own. She sighed sadly and began to put away the leftovers from dinner.

 

“Need help, Lily?”� Jocelyn asked, coming in from the front hall. “I’m up to drying today.”�

 

“No, that’s ok, Jo,”� Lily replied. “You can do whatever you’d like. I think I’m going to go out in a few.”�

 

“Alright. Don’t stay out too late,”� Jocelyn teased, winking.

 

Just as Lily was about to grab a sweater and head out, the phone rang. She leaned over the couch and called out, “I’ll get it!”� When she had the receiver, she said, “Hello?”�

 

A man’s voice on the other end answered. “Hi, Lily. It’s me.”�

 

“Oh!”� Lily tried to contain her shock. “Hello.”�

 

“I know this is kind of random, but I was wondering if you wanted to go grab a drink or something at the Jack Ass.”�

 

“Oh…”� She twirled the cord around her finger and bit her bottom lip. “I don’t know, Josh. I just got out of this relationship, and even though I’m over it, I just don’t think I’m ready.”�

 

Josh nodded on his end of the line. “Oh, yeah, I understand. Well then, how about just as friends? I’ll listen to you pour out your life’s story, and we can wallow in self-pity.”�

 

Lily laughed. “Well, that’s ok then. But I’ll skip the self-pity portion.”�

 

“Sounds good to me. When can you be ready?”�

 

“Well, five minutes if you like. I was planning to do something anyway.”�

 

“Alright then. Meet you at the Jack Ass in thirty minutes?”�

 

“Ok, Josh. Bye.”� She replaced the phone and got up from the couch, only to be met by a smiling Jocelyn.

 

“A date, Lily?”� Jocelyn taunted.

 

“No. Friends only,”� Lily insisted. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…”�

 

Twenty-three minutes later, Lily met up with Josh at the Jack Ass, and they sat down at the bar together. “Two Bloody Mary’s, bartender,”� Josh ordered. “Long time no see, Lily,”� he grinned.

 

“Yeah, it’s been like what? Five hours?”� she laughed. “Oh, I don’t want to think about that Marshall account for the next twenty years.”�

 

Josh laughed. “Well, I hope you’ll settle for tomorrow. That thing’s a shit, innit? I’d like to take Marshall and wring his neck. But it’s business, right?”�

 

“Yeah,”� Lily nodded. “Today’s my one year anniversary of being in Ireland.”�

 

“That’s a reason to celebrate!”� the gorgeous blonde Irishman said, his blue-green eyes sparkling. “Another round of drinks on me.”�

 

She laughed. “You’re planning on getting me drunk now, Mr. O’Malley?”� 

 

“Naturally.”�

 

She took a sip of her drink, and promptly proceeded to choke on it. As Josh lightly hit her between the shoulders, she stared at the trio that had just entered the pub.

 

“Bloody hell,”� she muttered, downing the rest of her drink in one gulp.

 

“Whoa! What’s the matter, lassie?”� Josh asked. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”�

 

“Worse,”� she said dryly, masking the emotion that had risen in her chest. She sent him a miserable look. “My ex-fiancé just walked through the door. Another drink, bartender! Make it strong. Please.”�

 

Josh let out a low whistle. “Oh, yeah. Drink up, lassie. Which one is he?”�

 

“The one by the door with two equally gorgeous men beside him. James is the one with the glasses and black hair,”� she sighed. “Bloody hell, did he follow me?”�

 

“Well, don’t worry. I won’t let him hurt you.”�

 

Despite her situation, she laughed. “James wouldn’t try to hurt me,”� she said softly, sighing once more. “No, he’d probably kiss me, tell me he loves me, and I’d have to turn him down again.”�

 

“So much for wallowing in self-pity,”� Josh chuckled. “Ah, let’s get stinking drunk.”�

 

“Amen.”�

 

“Oh, here they come.”�

 

Lily winced and turned around to greet Sirius and Remus, who seemed to have forced James to go with them. “Hey! What are you three doing in Dublin?”� She planted a kiss on each of their cheeks, even James.

 

“Business,”� Sirius replied. “What about you?”�

 

“I live here,”� Lily admitted reluctantly. She could expect Lynn and Julie there the next day. “My cousin lives on the other side of town, so I got a flat here.”� Then she remembered Josh was behind her. “Oh, this is Josh. Josh, this is Sirius, Remus, and James.”� She pointed out each one. They each shook his hand, though James looked ready to flay him alive.

 

“You’re very lucky, Josh,”� James said–more like forced himself to say. “Lily’s very special.”�

 

“Oh, we’re not dating,”� Lily said a little too quickly. “We’re just out for drinks.”�

 

An uncomfortable silence fell. James broke it by saying, “Lily, could I talk to you privately? Outside?”�

 

She should’ve expected it. Lily was torn between saying yes and saying no. If she said yes, she’d be reminded of how good it felt to be around James. If she said, no, she might miss her one chance.

 

“Sure.”�

 

Together they walked out of the pub (after saying good bye) and headed down the crowded streets of the Irish nightlife.

 

“So, how are you feeling?”� James asked softly.

 

“Great. I recently got promoted to–”�

 

“I meant the miscarriage, Lily.”�

 

She sighed and fought to maintain her composure. “I’m ok. Thanks for asking.”�

 

“Lily, I wish you would have told me where you were. I was worried.”�

 

“I know,”� she whispered. After a pause, she added, “I named him James. I hope you don’t mind.”�

 

“Lily.”� He stopped her and pulled her to the side so that they weren’t trampled by the hoard of people in the street. He pulled her into his arms and leaned against her forehead. She didn’t fight. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the threats.”�

 

“How’d you know that I knew?”� she asked softly.

 

“Mum.”�

 

“Miriam knows everything.”�

 

“Miriam found that letter you wrote to me telling me that you knew,”� James sighed. “Before…”�

 

“Before you broke it off,”� Lily finished. “You didn’t trust me, James.”�

 

“I was trying to protect you,”� he said hoarsely. “I didn’t know what to do. I did what I thought was best.”�

 

“You didn’t tell me, you didn’t talk to me about it. How was I supposed to take that?”� She buried her head in his shoulder. “You really hurt me.”�

 

“Is that why you didn’t get back with me?”�

 

“Yes.”�

 

“You had a point then.”�

 

“Thank you.”�

 

“Lily, who told you?”�

 

“I got a letter. From someone named Voldemort. All it said was that you’d been told that if we didn’t separate for good, I’d be killed.”�

 

“Voldemort talked to you?”� His fists clenched. “I’ll wring his neck.”� He tipped her face up. “What else?”�

 

“Nothing else,”� she scowled. “James, it’s been a year. I’ve finally gotten on with my life. Why are you doing this to me?”�

 

“I am not doing _anything_ ,”� he bit out, slamming his lips against her own.

 

And she let him. She opened her mouth and welcomed him in. How couldn’t she? She was still female, and James was definitely very male. How could she have fought him? Even if she’d wanted to, which she didn’t. It felt so good, just as she’d known it would. Lily had always thought of herself as a very strong person, but she did have one weakness.

 

He was kissing her.

 

It couldn’t be explained, all the things that were going through her head. She knew that she should pull away–he hadn’t trusted her. What was worse, he was so sincere about his apology. Why couldn’t he been some arse? If he had any undesirable quality (or a big one, anyway. Undesirable qualities he had. After all, while James Potter was often compared to a god, he definitely was not perfect), she could’ve turned him down without a second thought.

 

He pulled away and reached into his pocket.

 

“I carry this bloody thing around with me everywhere, Lils, just in case I ever found you and had a chance to ask you to marry me,”� he said.

 

“Oh, James… Don’t,”� she sighed, squeezing her eyes shut against the tears. “James, I won’t be able to say no.”�

 

“And thank God for that. But I’m not asking yet. I just… Please,”� he sighed, kissing her again. “I need you back.”� He wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll wait for you to tell me you’re ready. Just…”�

 

She stared down at the ring she’d returned to him more than a year ago. She remembered when she received it.

 

*~*

 

(- _Memories…_ -)

 

James led Lily in through a side door. “Almost there,”� he told her.

 

“James, where are you taking me?”� Lily giggled. “The last time you blindfolded me, we ended up naked in your Mum’s rose garden in the middle of January.”�

 

“Don’t remind me,”� he smiled. “Remember, I’m not in a position to throw you down on the floor and do all the things I did to you then just now, so don’t provoke me.”�

 

She giggled. “Are we there yet?”�

 

“Not quite, Lils.”� He opened a door on the left side of the hall they’d been walking down. He peeked inside. “Yep, this is the right room. Come in.”� He gently tugged on her arm so that she followed, and centered her in the middle of the aisle. “On three remove the blindfold. One, two, three.”�

 

Lily pushed off the black fabric just as lights were flicked on. She gasped.

 

They were standing in a room full of… well, _engagement rings_.

 

“Oh, James.”�

 

He kissed her nose and got down on one knee. “Lily…”�

 

“Oh, _James_.”�

 

“Will you do me the honor of being my wife so that we can finally kick out those morons and fill up that house with our children? As many as you’d like. Two, fourteen, fifty… I don’t care!”� He looked up at her hopefully. “I know we were going to wait awhile, but–”�

 

“Yes!”� she squealed, dropping down next to him. “Yes.”� She kissed him.

 

“Well, what are you waiting for?”� James asked after they’d pulled apart. “Go find your ring.”�

 

“I can have any one of these?”� Lily asked incredulously.

 

“Two, if you’d like.”�

 

“James!”� She hugged him so hard he nearly lost his balance.

 

“Whoa!”� he laughed. “Being rich has its benefits.”�

 

“No,”� she disagreed. “That’s not why I said yes.”�

 

“Of course! I was only–”�

 

“Joking, yes, I know. That’s all you ever do,”� she smiled. “You’re such a good man and you treat me so well. How did I ever manage to bag you?”�

 

“Probably have me under a love potion or something equally horrific.”�

 

She poked his shoulder. “I did not!”�

 

He shrugged, hoisting her up off the floor. “If you are, don’t stop.”�

 

*~*

 

**A/N: I think I’m just going to change the post date to Thursday. Every time I get home from the hospital I’m just too exhausted. I went to sleep at NINE last night. (For those of you who know me, you can understand how absurd that is!)**

****

**So yes. Um… Originally, in this chapter, they’d gotten engaged–again.**

****

**Changed it! I thought it was stupid. So… yeah. For old timers, you might remember that there was an “Alano”� in this story? Yeah. Forget him. It was a gay figment of my imagination.**

****

**All mi amor,**

**Natali K. A.**


	8. Chapter Eight

Song: “Dream for Two”� by Thalia

 

**Chapter Eight**

****

**By Natali K. A.**

****

(- _Memories…_ -)

Finally, after hours of searching, Lily’s eyes fell upon the perfect ring.

 

“That’s it,”� she told James. “That’s the ring.”� She pointed to a diamond and emerald ring set in a platinum band. Its mate–the ring James would wear–was much like it, bar the emeralds. Instead, diamonds encrusted the entire band.

 

“You like it then?”� he whispered in her ear, massaging her neck.

 

“Yes. Do you?”�

 

“Naturally.”� He looked at the salesclerk. “Manny, we’ll take that one then. And don’t bother wrapping up the engagement rings.”�

 

When Manny handed him Lily’s ring, James slid it onto her finger. “This is forever, Lils,”� he whispered, kissing her. “Forever.”�

 

“Always,”� Lily agreed. “I can’t _wait_ to show Lynn and Julie the size of this rock!”�

 

They laughed and headed out of the store.

 

*~*

 

(- _Present…_ -)

 

Lily looked at James. She let out a long sigh, full of pain and suffering.

 

“I don’t know. It’s been year, I’ve moved on–”�

 

“Whoever that bloke was in there, he was _not_ your bloody boyfriend,”� James said angrily, startling Lily. “Don’t even pretend it. I’m not sure my heart could take it.”�

 

“James, but you had that girl… Penny, was it?”�

 

“But she didn’t mean anything–”�

 

“A _week_ after you broke up with me!”� she said, half hysterical. “If there was one thing that could hurt me more than you telling me you didn’t love me anymore, it was the fact that she took my place.”�

 

“Lily, I wanted to protect you–”�

 

“You wanted to solve your problems without me,”� she yelled at him, stepping back. “A marriage is a union between two people who work _together_ in their lives. You wanted to leave me out of it!”�

 

“Because I knew what you’d say,”� he shot back, closing the distance between them again. “You’d say that you didn’t care, that he couldn’t hurt us, that–”�

 

“Don’t call me an idiot, James, I know very well that he can hurt us and that I would be in danger. But you’re perfectly right, I _don’t_ care. I would’ve married you anyway.”�

 

It took a moment for James to speak. “Past tense? You would have?”�

 

Her eyelids hid her emerald orbs from him. “Yes. Past tense.”�

 

He swallowed the words of anger that threatened to pour out from his mouth. “You don’t mean that. I made a mistake, and I can admit to that. But then so did you. You found out, so who told you?”� He raised an eyebrow at her when she didn’t reply. “Yes. Nosing around my things?”�

 

“Don’t. How dare you?”� she hissed. “You are not going to turn this around, James Potter. It’s not bloody fair!”�

 

“If life was fair, your sodding surname wouldn’t be Evans!”�

 

She closed her eyes in frustration. “I can’t believe we’re arguing over this. See? James, maybe it just isn’t meant to be. Things are like that sometimes. In fact, my mum once told me–”�

 

He pushed her up against the wall. Having used a bit more force than he had meant to, he waited a moment before chastising her in order to check she was alright.

 

The incensed look on her face told him she was.

 

“You–”�

 

“No, _you_ listen,”� he cut her off, placing a hand on either side of her face. “It’s one thing to tell me you don’t want to marry me. Quite another to tell me that we weren’t meant to be, that are destinies aren’t intertwined. In fact, it’s fucking sacrilege.”�

 

Lily blinked stupidly. “I didn’t know you felt so strongly.”�

 

He face broke into a handsome grin. “I’m about to take advantage of you. Another thing I feel very strongly about.”�

 

“James,”� she sighed. “I just don’t think–”�

 

“Shh,”�–he pressed a finger against her lips–“Don’t think. That’s just it.”�

 

And despite all the arguments she’d put up, Lily kissed him back when he pressed his lips against hers. Then suddenly–the past year didn’t exist. She felt the passion they’d had–did have–for each other flare up, and realized how very much she’d missed it. She had missed this: making out with him in the middle of Dublin against the wall of a pub. Because there was more to James than the James she loved.

 

She loved showing him that she loved him.

 

So when five minutes later they turned up in Lily and Jocelyn’s flat, kissing and practically ripping off the clothes, Lily decided she wasn’t accountable for her actions when high on Pot–Pott _er_ , that is.

 

“Well, I assume this means that you’re back together?”� Jocelyn asked flatly, not bothering to look up from her magazine. “I’ll make sure to alert the media.”�

 

“See you tomorrow morning, Aunt Jo,”� James grinned, following Lily into her room. “And thanks for keeping my Lily-Flower safe.”�

 

“I _hate_ that nickname, James!”� Lily said from inside the room.

 

“I know,”� he chuckled, closing the door.

 

“Those two have a lot to catch up on,”� Jocelyn muttered, throwing something into the fireplace. When a face appeared, she smiled. “Guess what, Miriam?”�

 

“Yes, Jo?”� Miriam asked. “Is something the matter?”�

 

“Hardly. I live in Dublin, Ireland with Lily Evans, and have been sharing a flat with her for the past year,”� Jocelyn said in a single breath. “So there! And you’ll never guess who’s here.”�

 

“Milo my first boyfriend?”� Miriam shrugged. 

 

“No. Your son, Miriam. James. James Potter. The same James Potter that broke up with Lily last year.”�

 

Instantly, Miriam was at the flat. “Really?”� she squealed. “Does that mean they’re getting back together?”� A thump sound came from inside Lily’s room.

 

“You judge for yourself,”� Jocelyn snickered.

 

“They’re in there?”� Miriam asked.

 

“It would seem so,”� Jocelyn smiled, then winced as another thump came from the room. “Let’s leave. I have no wish to listen to the rest of this.”�

 

“There we’re in agreement.”� But she paused for a second, cocking her head to the side as she thought. “That might not mean they’re together. You don’t have to be committed to sleep with someone.”�

 

Jocelyn gave her a stern look. “You know how they are. Do you think that’s the case?”�

 

Miriam shrugged. “You have a point.”� 

 

*~*

 

(- _Inside the bedroom…_ -)

 

Lily giggled. “That’s all right. I never liked that vase anyway.”� She kissed James.

 

“And what about that alarm clock? Did you like that?”�

 

“Hardly.”� 

 

James chuckled, kissing her neck, her ear, her face, her shoulders. “Oh, Lily… I’ll never forgive you for this. A year without you–without _any_ woman–is too much.”� He groaned.

 

“And Penny?”� she laughed. “Didn’t she please you?”�

 

This time, when he groaned, it was with disgust. “My God, what a bimbo. The only reason I even went out with her was to convince Voldemort that we were over.”�

 

“You’re going to explain this Voldemort thing later, right?”�

 

“Indubitably.”�

 

“Good.”� She reached for his T-shirt and pulled it off of him. The expanse of chest that greeted her was top notch. “Ooh, James… I’m so glad you didn’t stop working out.”�

 

He laughed hoarsely and picked her up. “Come on. We’re going to the bed.”�

 

“Mr. Hasty,”� she chided.

 

“Mr. I-Need-To-Get-Some,”� he corrected. Once on the bed, he leaned over her and scattered feathery kisses all over her face. “Oh, Lily,”� he sighed. “I love you so much.”�

 

“I love you too,”� she whispered, her eyes watering. “You asshole! Never keep another secret from me again.”�

 

“Alright, here’s a secret. I told Sirius and Remus that I had gotten laid just to shut them up,”� James laughed. “In reality, I was at the office that night. Interestingly enough, women haven’t appealed to me for the past year.”�

 

“I hope you’re not gay.”� She glanced at his erection. “No, most definitely not gay.”� She smiled up at him. “Alright, I’ll confess something too. Seventeen different guys have asked me out, that guy at the pub included. I’ve turned down each one.”�

 

James let out a whoop of glee. “I was half-afraid that some moron would come and scoop you up off your feet.”�

 

“Yeah. You.”�

 

“Very funny.”�

 

“Shut up.”�

 

“With pleasure…”�

 

*~*

 

(- _In a hotel across the street from Lily and James…_ -)

 

“You three have been here for a week, and _now_ is when you’re running into Lily?”� Lynn scowled. “Ingenious.”�

 

“Well, if you would recall, _someone_ didn’t tell us she was in Ireland. Why would we bother looking?”� Sirius asked, glaring at Lynn. “Back off, woman.”�

 

She giggled.

 

“What’s so funny?”� he grimaced. “You’re supposed to cower with fear.”�

 

“One, when have I ever cowered with fear of you? Two, this is better than porn.”� Lynn handed Sirius the binoculars. “You better catch a glimpse before they get naked.”�

 

“Did they just break a vase?”� Sirius asked.

 

“Yes.”�

 

“Holy fuck. How come we don’t have that much fun?”�

 

“We break… _other things_.”�

 

“Such as?”�

“Um. Mum’s writing desk.”�

 

“Point taken.”�

 

Julie and Remus entered the room. “What are you guys up to?”� she asked, eyeing Sirius, who was snickering and looking into the binoculars. “Isn’t spying against the law or something?”�

 

“Lily and James are about to get dirty in her room,”� Lynn smiled, conjuring another pair of binoculars for herself. 

 

Sirius set down the binoculars, scowling. “They just _had_ to get their clothes off immediately, right? I’ll bet you it’s because that prat knows we’re watching and that I can’t look at Lily naked. It’d be like seeing my sister shagging someone.”� He shivered.

 

Remus chuckled and flopped onto the bed. “Well, on the bright side, we have something to tease them about.”�

 

Julie looked at Lynn with disgust; she was still spying on Lily and James.

 

“Could you give them a little privacy, mate? It’s bloody nasty what you’re doing,”� she muttered.

 

Lynn stuck her tongue out at her. “For your information, I can’t see any of James’s body parts, and I’ve already seen Lily naked. So, what’s the matter?”�

 

“They’re having _sex_.”�

 

“Yes, and beautifully so,”� Lynn giggled. “ _Ooh, James_! That was splendid. Lucky girl, Lils. She gets to marry _that_ talented man. Honestly Julie, if you could see what he’s doing to her over, and over, and over, and _over_ again…”� She let out a guttural moan. “My God, Potter!”�

 

Sirius grimaced at her. “Well, it’s so nice to know that I’m a good lover, Carolyn.”�

 

Lynn snapped her head away from the binoculars and narrowed her eyes at him. “What did you call me, Sirius?”�

 

Sirius chuckled and winked at her. “Now I know how to get your attention, Carolyn.”�

 

Lynn eyed him oddly. “Say it again,”� she demanded after a moment.

 

Julie perked up. So did Remus. Lynn had just heard someone call her by her full first name, and she hadn’t completely ripped them limb from limb?

 

Sirius noticed too. “C-Carolyn,”� he stuttered.

 

Lynn walked over to him, dropping the binoculars on the way. “Ah, yes. Do continue.”� She grabbed his arm and led him to the other bedroom. “Don’t stop.”�

 

Staring after their retreating backs, Remus said, “I cannot believe that just happened.”�

 

“I _know_ ,”� Julie gawked. “He just called her Carolyn–”�

 

“And he’s still breathing easily.”�

 

“Well, I doubt _easily_. From what I think they’re doing…”�

 

“I’d rather not think about that.”� Remus glanced up at her and smiled. “It’s a miracle she didn’t notice. Sirius either.”�

 

Juils smiled lovingly at him. “Lynn, through all her nosiness, didn’t even bother to ask what we were doing out there. I suppose she was too busy watching the events across the alley.”� She glanced at the window, catching a glimpse of what she assumed was James’s leg… in the air…

 

“Well, no matter,”� Remus sighed happily. He gestured for Julie to join him on the bed, and she did, burrowing into him.

 

She admired her newly acquired engagement ring, and smiled up at her fiancé. How long had they been going out? Since Fifth Year at Hogwarts, and that was over six years ago. Well, they’d always been very thorough…

 

“Who do you think will see it first?”� she asked, raising the Lupin family heirloom into the air. “I mean, it’s huge…”�

 

“Bigger than Lily’s,”� Remus boasted, kissing her forehead. “I thought you would appreciate that the most.”�

 

“And you were quite right, my dear.”�

 

“I thought I was. It was the first thing out of your mouth after you accepted my proposal.”�

 

“It’s nice to know that you know me so well, Remus.”�

 

“Six years…”�

 

“Finally is all I have to say.”�

 

He looked at her with an eyebrow raised. “You would have said yes if I had asked you earlier?”�

 

Julie thought about that. “Well, see, I’m not too sure. We’re still so young, you know. But if we had been older, yes, without a doubt.”� She smiled softly at him, and he returned the gesture. “Now, when are we getting married?”�

 

“In six years.”�

 

She shoved him away from her. “I hope you’re joking, because there’s no way that I’m going to put up with that.”�

 

He chuckled and pulled her against him. “Of course I am. Whenever you’d like, Mrs. Lupin.”�

 

Jules made a retching noise. “No offense, but that sounds purely awful. I really hope that no one calls me that for awhile. Julie Lupin… It’s acceptable, at most.”�

 

He nipped her nose lightly. “You’ll like that name, and you’ll like it a lot. Understood?”�

 

“Yes, Father,”� she giggled, turning and half-climbing on top of him. “I love it.”�

 

“That’s what I wanted to hear.”�

 

*~*

 

(- _In the next room, an hour later…_ -)

 

“Julie and Remus are so funny,”� Lynn said dreamily, still in a half-trance.

 

Sirius looked at her lazily. “What the bloody hell are you talking about?”� he asked, kissing her bare shoulder. “And why are you thinking of our mates after sleeping with me?”� He frowned.

 

She smiled and pinched his cheek playfully. “They think I didn’t notice that whopper of a ring on her left ring finger.”� She shook her head, a little hard to do since Sirius was sort of on top of her. With a sensual chuckle, she added, “And I’m thinking of them because I do believe they’re the source of those pleasurable sounds coming from the other room.”�

 

Sirius listened, and when her thought was confirmed by a female groan, followed by a male one, he laughed alongside her.

 

“You saw it too, then?”� he asked her. “I say, isn’t–wasn’t–that Remus’ mum’s ring?”�

 

Lynn nodded. “Yes. I remember thinking it must have cost more than my house and yours put together.”�

 

“You haven’t seen my parents’ house. I honestly doubt _anything_ is worth more than that pile of greedy crap,”� Sirius muttered. 

 

“It’s not my fault I haven’t seen it,”� Lynn argued.

 

“Not mine either.”�

 

“I think you’re overreacting about that fight you guys had in Sixth Year,”� she sighed. “Sirius, baby, they’re your parents.”�

 

“They’re the devil incarnate.”�

 

“You’re miserable.”�

 

“Not nearly.”�

 

“Fine. But don’t expect me to think they’re as awful as you and James claim. The two of you tend to exaggerate. I refuse to judge them.”�

 

“Do whatever you’d like, but we’re not exaggerating. If anything, we’re not being harsh enough…”�

 

She frowned at him. “Impossible human.”�

 

“Stubborn female.”�

 

“Maddening homo sapien.”�

 

“Beautiful goddess.”�

 

“Sexy baby.”�

 

“Grr.”�

 

Lynn giggled, and growled back at him. “I guess I should get lively now, seeing as you’re hard as a rock.”�

 

“How crude, _Carolyn_.”�

 

She moaned and kissed him. “You’re the only one who’s ever called me that and lived to do it again. God bless you, sir.”�


	9. Chapter Nine

Song: _Figured You Out_ by Nickelback

**Chapter Nine**

 

**By Natali K. A.**

****

(- _Lily and James, in Lily’s bed, four hours after they first met up…_ -)

“Mmm,”� Lily sighed, softly massaging James’s chest. “That was most…”�

 

“Invigorating,”� James smiled.

 

Lily smiled back, thinking of a time in Sixth Year…

 

*~*

 

(- _Memories…_ -)

 

Sixteen-year-old Lily hurried down the corridor to her class. She couldn’t be late to Transfiguration! She’d get a detention this time. She went from a brisk walk to a run when she noticed the halls were beginning to become emptier. Only one corridor to go. If she could just make it to–

 

Next thing she knew, she was sprawled on the floor, her books scattered all over, and a big bruise was beginning to form on the back of her head.

 

“Oh, fuck!”� she cried, eyes fluttering open. Her vision was blurry at first, but then she focused in on Potter.

 

“Evans, I’m sorry,”� he said. “Are you all right?”�

 

“Been better,”� she replied, groaning as she sat up. When she felt the back of her head, the pain nearly blinded her. “What happened?”�

 

“I’m sorry. I ran in to you,”� he explained, getting her books. The bell rang to signal their tardy. “Crap, we’re late!”�

 

“And I’ve got a detention,”� she muttered, trying to gather her wits. Her head began to hurt. “I’ve got a monster of a headache.”�

 

“I’ll bet.”� James smiled at her.

 

Lily was transfixed in the gorgeous pools of honey. James Potter was… _smiling_ at her. It wasn’t normal. They didn’t run in the same crowd. She was a popular, preppy, girl everyone loved. He was one of the notorious players everyone loved to hate. Two completely different worlds. At best, they were on last-name terms. She smiled at him.

 

“Well, I might as well just cut now,”� she sighed. “McGonagall will spaz.”�

 

He nodded. “Yeah, me too. This would be my third tardy, and I’ve had so many that she’ll probably dock points this time around.”� He looked at her. “Do you need to go to the clinic? You still look a tad disoriented.”�

 

“I think so,”� she answered slowly. “Yeah, I think I’ll go. That way, I’ll have a real excuse.”� She made to get her books.

 

“No, that’s ok. I’ll take them for you,”� he offered. “I want to walk you. You look pale.”�

 

“Thanks.”�

 

They continued their way down to the Hospital Wing, chatting about Quidditch and school and what they were going to do after Hogwarts. Much too soon for Lily, they’d reached the door.

 

“I’ll leave you here then,”� James said, handing her the books. “I’m sorry I bumped into you. I was in a rush to get my book before the bell rang. You’re sure you’re all right?”�

 

She nodded, then regretted it instantly. “Damn it, that hurt!”� She winced.

 

He laughed and hit her chin playfully, but gently as not to hurt her. “See you around, Evans.”� He smiled again and headed in the opposite direction.

 

“My God, he’s gorgeous,”� Lily breathed, leaning against the door frame. Two different worlds, yes… But that didn’t mean she wasn’t still female. To be on the receiving end of one of those famous Potter smiles was wonderful. She chuckled to herself. “And he knows it, too.”�

 

Meanwhile, James was making his way toward his dorm room, still smiling over the thought of Evans’s skirt up above her knees… _Way_ up above her knees. He shook his head as he stepped into the common room.

 

“Hey, Sirius,”� he said, spotting Sirius aiming for the candlestick on the mantle with his slingshot. “Guess who I just bumped into–literally.”�

 

“Who?”� Sirius asked, not really paying attention. He released the sling, and it knocked the candlestick off cleanly. “Yes!”�

 

“Evans.”�

 

“Evans who?”�

 

“Lily Evans.”�

 

Sirius scrunched up his nose. “Um, is she blonde?”�

 

James shook his head. “No. You’ve got to know who she is–her hair’s red.”�

 

“Bright red? Like a tomato?”�

 

“No. Wine red. Sort of. It’s different. She’s friends with Lynn something or other. I think. And I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Julie talking to her.”�

 

“Oh,”� Sirius said slowly, smiling. “Yeah, I know who she is. She’s that Ravenclaw captain’s girl. From what I hear in the changing room, he’s shagging her but good.”�

 

“ _Him_?”� James cried with disgust. “Why would she go out with that pile of shit? He’s a complete idiot, he smells, and burps at _least_ twenty times a day.”�

 

“Jealous, mate?”� Sirius asked, smiling knowledgably. 

 

“Hardly. I just don’t know what she sees in him.”�

 

Sirius shrugged. “What’s so interesting about bumping into her? I doubt you even talk to her nine times out of ten.”�

 

James frowned at the fire. “Not much,”� he said slowly. “I just found it worth mentioning. She’s pretty, don’t you think?”�

 

“Passably so. Between you and me, she’s not shagging anyone. That’s his lie.”� Sirius examined his nails. “Apparently she’s a virgin.”�

 

James raised his eyebrows. “Who told you that?”�

 

“Cindy McCloud. She completely hates Evans.”� Sirius chuckled. “And I mean _hates_.”�

 

James grabbed the slingshot from Sirius’s hand and aimed for the lion’s head on the coat of arms that hung above the fireplace. “Well… Alright then.”� He released it, and the tiny pebble stuck right in the middle of the lion.

 

*~*

 

(- _Present…_ -)

 

James smiled down at Lily, kissing her forehead. Lily giggled. “What time is it? I have to go to work tomorrow.”�

 

“Or… you could quit and come live in London with us again. With me. And stay with me forever.”�

 

“I can apparate in the morning and afternoons, stupid,”� Lily said. “I’m not quitting my job.”� Though she couldn’t see James from his position somewhere near her breast, she could picture him frowning.

 

“You don’t have to work.”�

 

“I don’t want to lose my mind, James.”�

 

“And the kids?”�

 

“They don’t need constant supervision… at least not from me. Besides… I’m not pregnant.”�

 

“Yet. And actually, you might be.”�

 

“Splendid.”�

 

“All the more reason to marry me.”�

 

“How logical.”�

 

“Yes.”�

 

She moved out from under him and flopped onto her stomach. “’Night, James. I need some sleep. It’s been an eventful day.”�

 

He sighed heavily. “Lily, I haven’t seen you in a year. Could you please talk to me? Tell what you’ve been doing.”� And more quietly he added, “Tell me you’ve missed me as much as I’ve missed you.”�

 

After a brief silence, Lily flipped over back onto her back and pulled his head down to her. Her eyes felt misty. “I’ve missed you almost more than I could bear. And I’ll miss work tomorrow. One day won’t kill me, right?”�

 

“That’s my Lily. Always throwing herself into her work.”� He caressed her cheek with his lips.

 

She nipped his ear. “Yes, James. I’m your Lily. Always.”�

 

“Good,”� he chuckled. “Oh! I heard the funniest joke the other day. Want to hear it?”�

 

She nodded.

 

“Ok. What did the gay horse say?”�

 

Lily looked her confusion. “I give up. What?”�

 

Then he said in an extremely gay voice, “ _Hey_!”� He even added a little flick of the hand for emphasis.

 

Lily burst out laughing. “James, that was _terrible_! Where the bloody hell did you hear that? It’s worse than the one about the skeleton crossing the road.”�

 

“But,”� James said, kissing her softly, “it made you laugh.”�

 

“Yes. At it.”�

 

“Either way, you laughed.”�

 

\----

 

(- _Lynn_ _, at an interview years later, after the Calamity…_ -)

 

Lynn Black watched as the interviewer gave her a pity look. What exactly made that idiot woman think that she needed pity?

 

“Later, in the years to come, Lils would tell us all the things she did with James. All the problems they’d had, the laughs, et cetera. But I don’t your pity, Ms. Henderson. Lils and James did what they had to do, they succeeded, they came back to be with Harry, and then they died. What else is there for a being to do, anyhow?”� She looked down at her hands.

 

“I’ve had five best mates die in my lifetime, Ms. Henderson, one of them my own husband. I’ve hurt a lot, and I’ve experienced pain, but I don’t need your pity. You asked me to speak to you about what the Potters did for the world. They did many things, but the most important is this: Harry.”�

 

\----

 

(- _Julie, three years before that, also at an interview…_ -)

“Joe,”� the seventy-something year old Mrs. Lupin sighed, “I loved Remus. Still do, even in his death. But there was nothing– _nothing_ –like the love Lils and James had for each other. That’s a love that truly stood the test of time.”� She looked up at her nephew, also a reporter for the _Brunswick Times_.

 

“Was it really that great?”� Joe asked.

 

Julie laughed humorlessly. “Oh, yes. They certainly loved each other. You could just see. If you look at one of their pictures now, you can still see the love. Harry, Sophia, and Ryan are evidence of that.”�

 

“Anything else, Aunt Julie?”�

 

Julie stared out the window of her New England “condo”�, as the Americans called it. 

 

“What Lils and James did, wasn’t for the fame or glory, or not even the money, because it sure involved a bunch of that. It was because they truly were examples of what everyone strives to be, but can never achieve. Once every thousand years, two people fall so deeply in love that they create a force so great, _so_ powerful, that it can either destroy, or save mankind. Today, that force is the League of Honor, Strength, and Respect. Now, something very interesting happened–there was more than one couple who fell so deeply in love they made a supernatural force. By and large, they’re known simply as The League… A group of eight young men and woman who will defy all odds. They can swim, fly, climb, run, even come back from the dead. Because of these, the world is a safer place, if just for awhile.”�

 

Julie smiled softly and looked at the picture of the whole gang on Lily and James’s wedding day.

 

“And for now, Joe… It’s enough to know that I was a part of it.”�

 

\----

 

(- _James, the day before he died, in a letter to his sister, Angie…_ -)

 

_**********Dear Angie,** ** ** ** ** _

_**********Have you seen our grandson yet? He’s just the handsomest thing ever to exist. Harry couldn’t be any prouder, and Kiera is a great mother. The whole gang says hi. I hope you come visit soon. I still can’t figure out for the life of me why you moved to** **America** **, but if that’s what you want…** ** ** ** ** _

_************** ** ** ** _

_**********Jonathan told me that you had the flu last week. SUCKER! I’m just kidding, but still… HA HA! Lils would have my head if she knew I was being this mean to you, but pooh!** ** ** ** ** _

_************** ** ** ** _

_**********On a more serious note, I think that tomorrow is the day Voldemort will come back for us. The fact that we’ve managed to avoid that git for more than forty-five years is just hilarious. I’ll make sure to rub it in his face AGAIN before we escape with no more than a scratch.** ** ** ** ** _

_************** ** ** ** _

_**********Well, I’ll see you next week then, Ang. You make sure to say hi to Zach.** ** ** ** ** _

_************** ** ** ** _

_**********-James** ** ** ** ** _

 

*~*

 

**Yes, I know. Bad, bad author! *spank*. But I’m back now. And oh, what is all this talk about the Calamity and the League (gay name, I know. Sorry), or everyone dead??**

****

**That’s for me to know and for you to find out.** **J.**


	10. Chapter Ten

Song: Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini ( _Quite amusing, look up the lyrics!_ )

**Chapter Ten**

****

By Natali K. A.

 

(- _Memories: Seventh Year, about a month after start of term…_ )

 

“Have you ever seen McGonagall so pissed off?”� Sirius snickered. With his voice about eight octaves higher, he said, “ ‘I never want to see you lot up above midnight, do you understand me? Potter, Black! Do you find something funny in this situation? I’d love to hear about it in detention all next week! And that’s fifteen points from Gryffindor for this foolishness! A _party_ , at three in the morning!’ ”�

 

James laughed. “No joke, she’s off. It was just a harmless little get together, and she went ranting at us. I’d hate to think of what she’d say if she found all the drinks we’d stashed there.”�

 

Remus shook his head. “Between you two, you must have had a million detentions by now. Maybe you’ll get a plaque at graduation.”�

 

“That would make things a bit interesting,”� Jimmy Tang laughed, stretched languorously on the grass in front of the lake. He let out a low whistle. “Ah, here come the girls, looking all pretty in their bathing suits.”�

 

The group of ten or so guys turned to greet the female portion of the “after party”�. James smiled as his eyes scanned the nearly naked girls of his own year. He was about to turn to Sirius when one of the girls caught his eye.

 

Lily Evans.

 

He took a sharp breath and continued to watch the angel make her way towards them. She looked drop dead gorgeous in a white halter bikini. Licking his lips, he let his glance drop to her neck, then her chest, her middle, down her legs, then back up. He could feel his groin tightening. When had that happened?

 

Suddenly, he found himself surrounded by girls.

 

“Hey James,”� Angel giggled, kissing his cheek. “I love your bathing trunks. Do you like what I’m wearing?”�

 

He must have answered, because Angel seemed satisfied. But he kept watching Lily as she sat next to Julie, who was sitting next to Remus. Julie said something, and Lily laughed. Her eyes lit up when she did, and James resolved that by the end of the night, he’d have himself some of Lily.

 

He then snapped out of his dream and turned to flirt with the group of girls around him.

 

It wasn’t till later, when both happened upon each other near the opposite bank of the lake, separated from everyone else, that James remembered his lovely angel.

 

“Hey, Evans,”� he grinned. “Lovely night, isn’t it?”�

 

“A bit on the cool side,”� Lily replied. Since James was taller than her by at least a head, he could reach the bottom, but she couldn’t. James noticed.

 

“If you’re having trouble there, I could carry you,”� he offered, winking. “It would be no trouble, I assure you.”�

 

Lily laughed. “Thanks, Potter, but I have to get back. A friend of mine has a makeup class tomorrow morning, and I offered to go in early with her. I was on my way there. I’ll see you later, then.”� With that adieu, she swam off for the other bank, leaving James disheartened. He’d been planning on doing a little more than just momentarily conversing with her tonight.

 

Determined to get what he wanted–who just happened to be a certain redhead–he followed her up to the common room about five minutes later.

 

Julie, who’d found it odd when James had bid them a good night and said he was tired, turned to Remus as he headed for the doors to the castle. “Remus, did Potter just say that he was _tired_?”�

 

Just as dumbfounded, Remus nodded. “Yup.”�

 

“But… He’s _Potter_!”�

 

“Yup.”�

 

Julie cocked her head. “Lils and Zoë went up a while ago. Do you think that…?”�

 

Remus shrugged. “I’ve never heard him talk of either of them. I’ve got to admit, I’d be a little surprised if he was following them. Maybe he had a rough day or something. And there’s always the chance that he’s meeting up some girl.”� He snickered, joined by Julie who laughed.

 

“That’s probably it.”�

 

By that time, James, who knew a shortcut to the tower, had reached the common room. He entered it to find the reason for his early turn-in lounging on a couch, reading a book and dressed in a very cute pajama, though conservative for his taste.

 

He removed the towel from around him to show off his chest to a better advantage. Quidditch had its payoffs. “Hello again, Evans.”�

 

She jumped slightly and looked up at him. After identifying who it was, she went back to her book. “Hello, Potter. Early night for you too?”�

 

“Yes. I… was thinking of waking up early to work on Quidditch plans,”� he lied. “Being captain is taxing on oneself,”� he said, bragging not-so-subtly.

 

“I’m sure,”� Lily said lightly. Flicking him a look, she said, “You might want to cover up before you catch cold or something.”�

 

He frowned. “Thanks for caring.”�

 

“Anytime.”�

 

Sensing that she wasn’t in the mood to do anything other than read, James grudgingly went up the stairs to his room. It was cold…

 

After a shower and changing into boxers and a muscle shirt, James headed once more down the stairs, really determined to bed her this time.

 

Lily looked up as he landed on the last step and smiled. “Back so soon? Did you have a nice shower?”�

 

“Yes, thanks,”� he replied, sitting down in an armchair across from her. “I wasn’t in the mood to sleep, so I decided to come down. What are you reading?”�

 

“ _Sense and Sensibility_ by Jane Austen,”� she answered, scrunching her nose.

 

“Is it good?”�

 

“That’s not how I would describe it.”�

 

“Then why are you reading it?”� he chuckled.

 

She smiled. “Because I hate starting a book and then not finishing it. It’s odd, I know, but it’s just one of those things, you know?”�

 

He nodded. He did. “I’m the same way. I read this one book last year about dust balls– _dust balls!_ –but I had to finish it. It would’ve plagued me for weeks if not.”�

 

“So then why did you start reading it?”� she giggled. “Why ever would you start to read a book about dust balls.”�

 

He snickered. “It was called ‘ _Do You Have Balls_?’ It had looked good, anyway.”� He shrugged. Deciding to change the subject he said, “Do you have any plans for this week?”�

 

Lily shook her head. “No.”�

 

“No dates, shopping trips, hair appointments?”�

 

“Not one. I broke up with Javier last week. He was getting fresh,”� she explained. 

 

“And no one’s asked you out since?”� James asked slyly. “You poor thing. I might have to myself.”�

 

“Now, Potter, I never said no one had asked me to go out,”� she chided. “I only said I had no plans. You mustn’t feel too bad for me. I’ll find a beau soon enough.”� With a wink, she rose, closing her book. “’Night, Potter.”�

 

“’Night, Evans,”� he grumbled. Once again, he hadn’t gotten what he wanted.

 

“Hey, Potter,”� someone said from the top of the stairs. It was a Sixth Year friend of his. “Want some advice for Evans?”�

 

James grinned. “Now, Thompson, what makes you think I’m after Evans?”�

 

“Because I saw the way you were staring at her ass as she went up the stairs,”� Carl Thompson laughed. “So, do you want advice or not?”�

 

James shrugged. “I’ve got nothing better to do. Go ahead then.”�

 

“She likes the gentlemen. Evans doesn’t care too much about flash or glam. She’s real nice and simple. All you need to do is say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.”� He laughed and turned to go. “Oh, and one more thing.”�

 

“Yeah? What’s that?”�

 

“Don’t expect to shag her.”� With a cruel laugh, Thompson turned into his room and shut the door.

 

“Prat,”� James muttered. “And I’ll bet he’s right, too.”�

 

*~*

 

_Of course, everyone knows that James got what he wanted, Lily did shag him (Harry had to get here somehow, no? But they shagged long before then), and they did get married._

__

_It is the misconception of most that Lily and James died, that night on Halloween when Harry was year old. I can’t say I really blame them, as it was most certainly mentioned_ quite _clearly enough._

__

_Actually, it’s sufficiently safe to say that even Harry thought they were dead! I think that perhaps even Dumbledore doubted that they weren’t truly dead for a while there._

__

_Such a shame, really, because their death tore so many apart. Lynn and Sirius–oh, they got together sure enough, but it took awhile._ _Lynn_ _blamed Sirius–the entire damned wizarding world blamed poor Sirius._

__

_As I recorded their life, I found it odd that Peter Pettigrew–their true betrayer–never came up often. Apparently, after James had begun dating Lily, he’d separated from the other Marauders, though he did deign to come to their wedding._

__

_There is so much that leaves even me confused. Such as_ why _–why them and why not others and why dead? Why did Harry have to suffer so much, and how come Voldemort didn’t die right off?_

__

Hermione Granger looked up from her letter to Ginny, telling her about the latest from Lily and James’ story, as told to her by them.

 

She massaged her temple, sighing. Picking up her quill, she resumed her writing.

 

_I won’t pretend to understand it all. Nay, I am_ unable _to understand it all, so I have no choice therefore. If we were completely in the dark about the entire deal, imagine Lily and James…_

__

_I expect you to arrive here sometime next week, so we can get down the part about you and Harry. As for including Ron and my little romance, it’s utterly out of the question. This story has nothing to do with us, no matter how much you insist. It barely has anything to do with_ you _!_

__

_I’ll speak to Sophia and Ryan sometime in the next month. I don’t think they’re terribly important to the story, but we’ll see._

__

_All my love, and say hi to Harry for me (By the way, I’m pissed off at him! He hasn’t visited me in at least a month and I’ve a fair good idea to go on over there and give him a good slapping, thank you!)_

_\--Hermione_

 

*~*

 

**A/N: I keep screwing myself over with adding all these interesting little tidbits. Oh well. My own fault, I’m sure…. *sigh***

****

**All my love, AND REVIEW,**

**NKA**


	11. Chapter Eleven

Song: _No Explanation_ by Peter Cetera

**Chapter Eleven**

**By Natali K. A.**

(- _Present: Next Morning, at Lily’s kitchen table…_ -)

“You’ve got one shit load of explaining to do, Lils,” Julie sang out as she sipped her coffee. “A very _big_ shit load.” She looked at James. “Yeah, you too, I think.”

James scowled at her. “I’m very much aware that I need to explain. And perhaps you’d be so kind as to let me know what you were thinking when you almost broke down the door at seven in the bloody morning?”

Lynn laughed. “We had woken up early to make sure we didn’t miss you guys, and the subject of Julie’s engagement came up.” Lynn smiled cruelly at Julie, who was trying to shrink away. “She changed the subject by suggesting we come over here.”

Lily raised her eyebrows. When Julie nodded sheepishly, Lily squealed and ran over to hug her friend. “I’m so happy for you two! _Finally!_ ”

“Just because we don’t get engaged at an absurdly early age, Lils,” Remus said calmly, looking at her frankly, “doesn’t mean we took a long time.”

“I call six bloody years a bloody long time to be just bloody _dating_ ,” Lily retorted. “And, if you’ll be so kind as to remember, James and I felt we should take our relationship to the next level, and so we did. Thank you very much!”

“Alright, quiet down, girls,” Sirius said, chuckling. “Point is, you’re now putting the pressure on me to propose to Miss Clancy here”—he pointed to Lynn—“and I’d hate to be pressured.”

Lynn snickered and kicked his shin, a little harder than Sirius would have preferred.

“Seems to me that people are getting married left and right.” Lynn sat on Sirius’s lap and stretched out on him luxuriously. “Angel just sent us a wedding invite. I hear half the year’s already got little buggers in the nursery. What do you make of that, Black?” 

“I think they’re nuts.”

“How so?”

“They’re still with their sweethearts from school, that’s what.” He grinned at her. “Now, you’re thinking that I might be a hypocrite, but I’m not actually. I’ll totally attest to the fact that I’m nuts. Lynn, would you like to concur?”

“Naturally,” Lynn grinned. “And that’s exactly what makes us such a good match, you see,” she told the others. “We’re both so crazy that we’ll never notice it in the other!”

“What you are, Lynn,” James rolled his eyes, “is a person with too much time on your hands.”

But Lynn shook her head. “Now, think about this James. What makes you and Lily, or Julie and Remus, such a good couple?”

They all looked at each other, including Sirius, who was as lost as they were. Lynn looked victorious.

“Elementary, my dears. Opposites—while not completely opposites, because everyone has to have _something_ in common—attract!” she declared flamboyantly, stretching out her arms.

Lily raised an eyebrow. “You’re crazier than I thought.”

“I’ll call the asylum, loves,” Julie laughed, heading for the phone. She glanced at Lynn, who was throwing kisses to her “audience”. “On second thought, perhaps we should just kill her and be done with it all. I don’t think anyone’ll miss her.”

Lynn glared at her. She smiled innocently.

“Right, but we’re digressing here,” Remus said, setting himself in a chair by the counter. He turned to James and Lily. “What’s this that’s been going on? Because frankly, I think it’s just one big mess.”

James looked at Lily, who sighed heavily, as if not wanting to talk about it.

“Fine then. James, I’ll start.”

“But my part comes first,” he protested.

She smiled mysteriously. “Oh, no it doesn’t. You see, I, like _someone_ I know, also kept a few secrets of my own…”

“You, Lils?” Lynn laughed. “You never kept anything from us!”

Lily shrugged. “There’s a first time for everything. Now, you may remember that program I enrolled in after Hogwarts as a side thing? Well, I wasn’t entirely truthful about that. Not to you either, Potter…”

*~*

(- _Memories… The day before James broke off the engagement…_ -)

Lily walked into the office where she was doing her internship… Well, not really her internship. More like… _volunteer_ ship. 

“Hello, Lily,” Anne smiled. Anne, the receptionist, handed her a stack of papers. “You’ve gotten a load of calls. Mostly from some Jim or John or whatever…”

“James,” Lily laughed, shaking her head. “Whatever will I do with him?” She walked on and entered her “office”. Personally, Lily found it most like a broom closet, but she’d take what she could get. 

She began to sort through her messages. “James, James, James, James, J-Oh, Lynn. James, James, Julie, Miriam, Angie, Ja—” She stopped, and went to the last message. “ _Angie_?” She picked up her purse and headed back to the entrance of the office. 

“Yes, Lily?” Anne asked. “Is something the matter?”

“No, I don’t think so. It’s just that James’s little sister—he’s my boyfriend—she told me to go to ASAP, and since I’m not really doing anything…” Lily hesitated. “Well, she’d only call me if I was important, you see.”

Anne nodded, smiling. “I’ll keep that witch we call a boss off your back, sweetie. Go on and see her.”

Two minutes later, Lily was in the Potters’ house, knocking on Angie’s bedroom door. When it opened, she was met by a sobbing Angie, who exploded into louder sobs at the sight of her.

“Angie! Are you alright?” Lily asked when she turned away and ran to her bed. “What’s the matter?” She ran to comfort her.

“Oh, Lily, I’m so sorry!” Angie cried, wetting Lily’s shoulder with tears. “I’m _so_ sorry!”

“About what, love?” Lily asked. “Oh, come now, stop that sobbing. You’re overreacting, I’m sure.”

“But I’m _not_ , and that’s why I’m so upset,” Angie insisted. “Lily, I’ve been enrolled in that thing at my school for the more advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts students for over a year now. And… Well, I’m a little more involved than most.” She quieted a little, and Lily sat back so that she would have some air.

With a deep, shuddery breath, Angie continued. “Basically, I’ve gotten into this club of sorts with kids from all around Great Britain whose parents are working on special cases for the Ministry. Even though Papa is only working on a minor case, I told them it was a little more important, and they let me in. I really wanted to be in it, you see, because of this boy. His name is Kevin, but that’s not important. Anyway, I’ve been talking to a bunch of the members.

“They told me that there’s an uprising of forces near Baghdad and then again in Norway. Dark forces from this guy they’re following in the Ministry. His name is Voldemort. Well, point is that a few of the more prestigious members have been in contact with me. Their parents mostly work in the Department of Mysteries, and they tend to overhear things.

“Long story short, there is a prophecy that surfaced a few days ago. You see, there was a break in at the Ministry. They caught the guy—he wasn’t that difficult to catch and he was working alone—but in the struggle, one of the orbs that contain the prophecies shattered.”

“You’re losing me, Angie,” Lily said when the other had stopped for breath. “I don’t even know what a prophecy is. Or the orb part. And what’s the Department of Mysteries?”

Angie shook her head. “A prophecy is something that’s—Oh, never mind,” she sighed. “What I’m trying to say is that when the orb, the thing that contains the prophecy, crashed to the floor, they silenced everything and listened, because the prophecy is then told from the Seer who predicted it in the first place.”

Lily nodded slowly. “What does this have to do with me?”

“The prophecy was that you’d be killed.”

Lily jaw dropped.

“Are you out of your mind, Angie?” she asked. “Since when am I going to die?”

“No, I didn’t say that right. What I mean to say is that you _might_ die. Not any time soon, at least we’re not sure.” Angie tapped her chin. “The prophecy wasn’t too clear, from what the informant said.”

Lily laughed—she couldn’t help it. “I think you’re mad, Angie. Come on, I’ve got to get back to work. I’ll see you tonight when we all go to dinner.” She kissed Angie on the cheek and turned to leave when Angie burst out something.

“I wouldn’t have believed it either!” she said anxiously. “Lily, you must listen! Look what I found in James’s old room.” She walked to the desk in the corner of the room, opened the bottom drawer, and began to extract papers. When she’d taken them all out, she fiddled with the back of the drawer.

After some time, she managed to pull out a piece of metal that seemed to hide the hidden compartment. Lily, who was peering on deeply interested, noticed that there was a single sheet of paper in there. Angie pulled out the paper, and handed it to Lily.

“Just for the record,” Angie told her, “I wasn’t snooping when I found it. He’d told me to get him something in there, and I spotted it by accident. I wanted to ignore it, but I just couldn’t. Finally, when he left, I took it and brought it here.”

But Lily had stopped listening. Instead, she was reading the note, growing more nauseous with every word. It was addressed to James, the date read last week. Angie watched as Lily’s face went pale and her hands began to tremble.

The note read:

Now Mr. Potter, we’ve been communicating for a while. But the time has now come for me to tell you why I’ve been doing so. You have something I want, and you know what it is. The thing is, something in me tells me that you won’t be too willing to give it up, so I’ve decided to give you an ultimatum, sir. Either you give me what I want, or I’ll kill what’s most dear to you… Can you think of what’s most dear to you? I can.

_I can see why you admire her so. Oh, yes. I know you do. I’ve watched the two of you together. You hang on her every word, you spoil her. Ah, dare I say it? You even love her. Yes, Miss Evans is very pretty indeed. Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to feel that silky flaming hair on my skin… And I promise you, if you fail to oblige me, I will find out before I kill her most painfully._

_You are a man of reason, or so you’ve led me to believe. Don’t be thick about this. You have seventy-two hours to comply._

_Lord Voldemort_

Lily handed Angie the note again, and turned wordlessly for the door.

“Voldemort misunderstood, Lily!” Angie called after her, chasing her down the stairs as Lily headed for a place she knew would give her comfort. “James doesn’t have it!”

“And just what, pray, is ‘it’?” Lily asked emotionlessly, heading through the kitchen.

“The Maroset.”

“Oh, that explains all,” Lily answered sarcastically. “I can see now.”

Angie frowned. “Well, I’m not sure what it is. No one in the club knows.”

Lily stopped and turned to face her so suddenly that Angie almost lost her balance.

“Angie,” Lily bit out, trying to contain her temper, “you and your club are sticking you noses in things that have nothing to do with you. My advice is that you drop it before you get into real trouble. It’s ridiculous what you’re saying. If anything like this note had happened, James would have told me.” She reached for the back door and opened it, one foot out the door before Angie replied.

“How sure are you of that?”

*~*

(- _Present…_ -)

James flushed, partly with embarrassment and partly from anger. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Oh, you’re one to talk,” Lily rolled her eyes. “Don’t be stupid, James. I didn’t think it was true until you broke off our engagement. Then, the fact that you hadn’t told me pissed me off, so I didn’t tell you I knew.” She shrugged. “Communication is important, you see. Next time, open your mouth, you git.”

“So kind,” James muttered.

“So, Angie is involved in some sort of not quite legal society, which she shouldn’t be in, and she has privileged information?” Remus asked.

“Basically,” Lily replied.

“And she showed you the note,” Remus went on. “And knew what the Maroset was?”

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “You know what that is?”

Remus nodded. So did Julie, who seemed pale all of a sudden. Lily, having noticed this, sent her friend a questioning look.

“The Maroset,” was all Julie would give. She raked her hair with a hand haphazardly and closed her eyes. “Oh, my. Remus…? But—How?”

Remus made no reply, and walked to the window, peering out at the busy Dublin street.

“I hate to distract your thoughts, Remus,” Lynn said after a minute, “but I’m simply longing to hear what the Maroset is, if you would so oblige me.”

“In a nutshell, the Maroset, an heirloom of the Marosets of Northern France which could control all the wands of every wizard or witch on earth, is a jewel. It’s two thousand years old, all the way from the time of Christ. Christ himself made it, or rather, enhanced it in the special Christ way to control all forms of magic. The simplest way to explain that is by saying that the jewel would control all of the wands, not the person it belonged to.”

“I still don’t see the connection. Perhaps I’m just stupid,” James interjected. “And I’m supposed to be one of the most informed here, too.”

Remus gave them all a shy smile. “Yes, well, you wouldn’t see the connection, seeing as it’s the only thing I ever kept from you and Sirius. Well, the only important thing.”

“Somehow, that disconcerts me,” Sirius frowned.

“The Maroset was passed down the line for over fifteen hundred years, until one day, the last and final Maroset male died before he could produce an heir for it, male or female. He did have a single sister though, and no other relatives. She was given the jewel, as custom, and it passed into her husband’s possession. Naturally, when _he_ died, it was passed down to his eldest son, Octavius.”

Lynn, who’d been trying to add two plus two during his discourse, suddenly gasped. “Remus… Octavius Lupin was your great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather or something. You told us once about his conquests over the Giants in Eastern China. He isn’t… Is he?”

Remus nodded and smiled. “Yes, he is. Octavius acquired the jewel, and since then, it’s been passed down from one generation to the next.”

“Notice he didn’t say father to son,” Julie added. “It stayed in the family, but it wasn’t always possession of the head male of the family.”

Lily raised her eyebrows, and eyed the diamond and sapphire engagement ring—or what she’d _thought_ a diamond and sapphire engagement ring—and said, “And exactly how long has that engagement ring been in your family, Remus?”

He smiled. “About five hundred years, give or take a few.”

James nodded. “So then, why did I get the notes from Voldemort, who ended up threatening me?”

“Because no one knew my family had it,” Remus explained. “When the last Maroset had died, everyone wondered, but then forgot about it. That’s why now not too many people know it exists. Not even my family knows about it, bar the ones who will inherit it. It’s supposed to be that way.”

They all looked at each other.

“I think it’s time to continue with the story,” Lynn said. “Maybe then we can figure this all out.”

James frowned. “Do I really have to?”

“Yes,” they chorused.

“You owe it to us after the hell you’ve put us through this past year,” Julie added. “So go ahead, James. Start talking.”

“There’s not much to say,” he shrugged. “Some mysterious guy started writing to me, and gave me the ultimatum, like Lily said. I thought I could get around it, because I didn’t have whatever he needed, by breaking up with her, and therefore saving her. I was wrong. Sort of.”

Lily looked at him lovingly. “I just wish you had told me, James,” she reprimanded him slowly. “But that’s in the past. What matters now is what we’re going to do.”

He groaned, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Alright. I guess I’ll begin with the day that we broke up.”

*~*

**A/N: Ok, so originally I’d had the Maroset, right? Ok, so rereading this, I was going to remove it, right? Yeah. Um… I haven’t, obviously, removed it. Why? Oh, I don’t really know. Looking back, I hate how AU this is. But I just can’t move myself to completely changing this story all that much.**

**Now, questions to pose—Will James and Lily get married? How is it that Lynn and Sirius don’t get together? What about Remus and Julie—they’d been engaged! How come they never married?**

**So many questions. So many answers.**

**You’ll have to wait and see, I suppose. The next chapter is going to change considerably from the original, simply because it was quite… queer. And stilted.**

**Love to all my little doggies!**

**Oh! I’ve got bug jokes!**

**1.** **What insect goes “zubb zubb zubb”?**

**2.** **Where do bees go on holiday?**

**3.** **Why was the bee’s hair sticky?**

**4.** **What is a bee’s favorite music band?**

**:-P. Let me know if you figure it out! Answers next week!**

**NKA**

PS: When I'd first tried to update, the site had been down. First chance to do so was today. Bye, loves.


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